Natalie's update
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| Mon, 11-14-2005 - 8:19am |
Hey everyone,
Well I thought I already posted about this but I think I hit Preview and then didn't hit Post... so that sucks cuz it was a really long entry. But here goes again.
Had my first meeting last week with this doctor. I had been really anxious and unhappy and just starting to get desperate. Boyfriend drove me over (still haven't been able to drive, for about a week). She seemed really nice, I stayed moderately relaxed through the whole thing (probably helped that she had her dog in her office with her; dogs really make me happy).
I had written up a basic mental health history of myself, including family history, general stuff I've been through, etc. I'm a planner and I'm used to directing meetings of my own, so it felt like an agenda for a meeting, which helped to depersonalize it. However when I was reading it aloud, including all the hard stuff about issues with my parents, or when it got to my anxieties and fears, it all hit me then. She ran an evaluation on me, using numbers to scale the degrees of certain feelings/emotions... she did one for depression and one for anxiety. For the depression I was diagnosed severe, for the anxiety, extreme.
As for the eating issues, we both figure it's mainly due to the anxiety, but I am slightly ashamed to say I wasn't 100% honest with her. At the time I felt like i was being extremely forthcoming but now looking back, I realize there was more I should have told her. I basically said it was one of my biggest fears to become fat, and that I hate myself for being the way I am. She asked me how much I weighed now and my height, and then looked at me quizzically... I've seen that before. I'm technically well within the "normal range"... but we all know how good that feels, right?
So her suggestion was meds... which we're gonna talk about next meeting. She said if I have more attacks and can't go to work because of them, I'm gonna need to probably go to a day hospital for a little while, which really really scares me. So for now, I"m just going hour by hour. BOyfriend is drivign me everywhere, really helping with keeping me calm, and basically I'm gonna request that she put me on something ASAP when I see her next. BEcause I know for a fact I can't go for another week feeling like this.
I'll keep you all posted, thank you
- Natalie

Hi Natalie!
Don't feel
~Diana~
I will go back to see her tomorrow night. It's funny, this weekend my anxiety wasn't too bad, I guess because I didn't really have to be anywhere. Now that work has started again, I am feeling it. But mainly feeling really tired... I got like 12 hours of sleep a night each night this weekend, and I could use 10 more right now. Guess that makes sense though. I've been pretty sad.
And I'm really pissed because I kind of ate a lot this weekend too. I guess it wasn't that much but I'm feelin it today.
So I'll let you all know how the new meeting goes, and if I get put on something hopefully it will start to work quickly...
- Natalie
Wow, going back so soon!
~Diana~