I think I might need help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2005
I think I might need help...
2
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 5:18pm

My older sister was anorexic when I was younger, and before this year if anyone had even mention me developing an eating disorder they would have had a swift kick in the ass. I pretty much never had any want or urge to have one. Until lately. I'm not fat, and about half the time I'm perfectly fine with my curvy figure but I keep having these thoughts. Every time I eat something that is high in carbs or a big meal or something I regret it and 90% of the time I have a split second where I want to throw it up. Ive come to the point where I honestly think if I weren't so disgusted with throwing up I would be bulimic, or if I didn't love food so much I would be anorexic. I wish I had a flat stomach I wish I felt more pretty.... I mean, I like to think I have high-self esteem and most of the time I do. Its just those few times I feel like on the edge and I don't want to go over it.

I mean, I feel like I have enough self esteem and will power to get over it alone. I just don't know, I need some advice.. Is this how it starts? Should I seek help? I'm also type 1 diabetic, I think it all started by me feeling guilty for eating high-carb food. The thoughts seem to becoming more frequent. Its strange for me, I know a lot of eating disorders, and I can see the symptoms in my self but its in my self. I want to have a career in medicine and i really couldn't imagine my self be bulimic but i keep thinking about it over and over and over again. What do I do? I hope this post makes sence because I don't want to proof read it..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Mon, 11-14-2005 - 6:28pm

Hi there, xx,


I think that first and foremost, you need to take care of your diabetes.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 6:51am

Hi xx,


I agree with Diana that it's important to talk to your doctor about what is going on. You could just be feeling deprived due to certain restrictions you have in your diet due to the diabetes. And I think finding a good therapist is a great idea as well. Ultimately, if you are struggling with an eating disorder, which is not necessarily the case, mere will power i s not going to work. If it's 'just' about food then will power could be applied, but an ED is not about food. Starvation, body image issues, bingeing, and purging are all manifestations of a deeper emotional problem.


Here is a link with some interesting info on diabetes. Maybe you already know all this in which case you can just ignore it. :)


And here is that link (sorry I forgot to include it the first time!!):


http://www.mercola.com/2005/aug/16/doctors_cause_diabetics_to_die.htm


And do come back and keep posting if it helps you. We are always here!!



Love & hugs, Kristina


“It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what keeps things running right.” ANNE LAMOTT



The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.





Edited 11/15/2005 7:27 pm ET by cl-kkcarlton

Love & hugs, Kristina