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| Thu, 11-17-2005 - 3:11am |
Hi, I wanted to introduce myself. I posted on here once before, but I am back. I really think I need some support. I guess I should tell you a little about me. I was a very obese child and teenager. I had gastric bypass 2 years ago. I never had any desire to purge before my surgery, but about 6-8 months after my surgery I really just would get such a desire to get rid of the food I ate. Mostly a lot of guilt when I would eat, especially if I would overdo. I don't know if it was the anatomy of my new stomach or what, but for the longest time I wasn't able to purge, no matter how hard I tried. I tried on and off for about a year and a half, but still wasn't able to. Well a few weeks ago I started trying again, and now I am able to. I am really, really scared. I don't want to do this, but I can't face the thought of gaining weight. I would rather die than gain my weight back. I am in therapy for food issues and self esteem issues and I just recently started taking an antidepressant. Can I get a hold of this before it's too late? I don't want to be like this, but I can't gain my weight back. That is the important thing, I can't gain weight. I talked to my doc about it the other day and I'm going to go see a nutritionist next month. What can I do? Sometimes after I eat I can feel my heart beating so hard and fast and I just have to try to get rid of the food.
thanks for listening,
nrs_grl

Hi nrs_grl,
Welcome to the board.
~Diana~
Hi nrs_grl,
I remember your post from before and I am glad you came back for support. I concur with Diana about being in therapy. It sounds like you are doing all the right things including the nutritionist and talking to your doctor about everything. I know it's hard, but it takes a while to heal. Give it time, be open and honest with your therapist, and keep coming back for support. Try to focus on thinking positive thoughts. Telling yourself that you will gain weight or that you are afraid to gain weight is just going to make you feel bad. State the positive - in your mind or out loud - and keep reaffirming it. If you believe in God don't forget to pray.
Love & hugs, Kristina
“It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what keeps things running right.” ANNE LAMOTT
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
Thank you,
Good for you -- on all counts -- remember it is us who cut ourselves off from God -- and that the same lovingkindness is always there, even if you don't feel it all the time, difficult I know.
~Diana~