Hi I'm new

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Hi I'm new
2
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 9:33pm
Hi there. I "recovered" from a compulsive exercise/eating disorder many years ago (I was a dancer who had an abusive dance teacher that pressured me to maintain an unrealistically low weight all through adolescence), but I still need support. I am in my 30s now and I try to live a "healthy" lifestyle-not exercising or dieting obsessively- but I still have an obsession with weight and body image I am fighting hard to get over. I had a trigger this weekend in the form of a friend who had anorexia in college. She was "fine" for many years after that, but right before her wedding, she got really upset about her wedding dress size and lost a ton of weight. She said it was because she had "health problems" but I know that she is lying in order to restrict her food intake. She became really obsessive about food and insisted she could only eat food from a health food store because of all the hidden chemicals in food, and she will not even go out to dinner with us or attend parties because she is so afraid of what is in her food. All the while she has become incredibly skinny, and keeps bragging about how much weight she lost. I started avoiding her because I felt she was pulling me back into my obsessiveness. When she asked me why I was avoiding her, she refused to admit that she had a problem that was dragging me down, so I let it go. Well, I decided I'd just try to get over it and see her this weekend, but seeing her look "so perfect" made me feel like I didn't measure up instead of feeling sorry for her, and then I wanted to start another diet. I know that is small of me, but I am not strong enough to get past this. What should I do? Should I continue to hang out with this friend who makes me feel bad about myself, even though it's not really her fault?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 9:39pm

Hi angel91074,

Welcome to the board - glad you found us.

The situation you are describing sounds very familiar and I know it's not easy. My personal opinion is that you need to do what ever it takes to take care of yourself. If that means staying away from certain people - for now - then that is what I would do. You could tell your friend honestly what is going on and why you made that decision.

This is not going to be easy and I would definitely not rush into it, but if you are having a hard time with your issues after spending time with her then I would definitely consider it.

BTW, I don't think any of this is 'small' of you as you put it. You are struggling with an ED, or at least the remnants of an ED, and dealing with other people who have an ED, who have lost weight, who control their food, etc. is hard. You are not the only one who struggles with those kind of situations so try not to beat yourself up.

Love & hugs, Kristina


“It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what keeps things running right.” ANNE LAMOTT



The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.


Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 12-06-2005 - 11:10am

Hi there angel 91074,


Kristina hit the nail on the head -- if you need to avoid her, do so.

 

 

~Diana~