I am new here and wanted to introduce
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| Wed, 12-07-2005 - 2:50pm |
EDITING to add that there may be possible TRIGGERS in this message...I couldn't edit the title, but wanted to make this noticeable. I apologize for not thinking to put that in the title at first.
myself. I am 32 years old and am struggling with anorexia for the second time in my life. The first time I was diagnosed at 15. I was down to 95 lbs at 5 ft. 7 in. My Mom took me to the dr finally who threatened to put me in the hospital with a feeding tube and that scared me into eating. I never received any counseling at that point in time and just kept meeting my weight goals and "recovered", or so I thought. Here I am, almost 18 years later, finding myself with the same type of behaviors, but slightly different than before. During the past 18 years I had no issues with anorexia at all...I loved food and loved to eat food. I maintained a healthy weight of 125-130 without restricting foods. I had 2 kids and gained healthy amounts of weight with #1, maybe too much with #2, but always returned to my prepregnancy weight. I do have anxiety issues and have been on meds since Nov 03 to help. I don't know exactly what set me back on this path, but I changed my way of eating back in May to lose a couple of lbs before a beach trip and discovered that my stomach felt much better (I have IBS too) eating healthy (South Beach Phase 2) than eating the crap I had been eating...lots of fried foods/processed foods. I think it just spiraled out of control. I was finding myself obsessed with the scale and that number again. Just 1 more pound and then another and another. This time though, I caught myself and realized what I was doing and told my dr. She said that anorexia could resurface and while I may have recovered from it years ago, doesn't mean that I won't ever have to deal with it again. I got down to 118.5 this time and now I have made my DH hide my scale so I can't weigh myself. My dr referred me to a nutritionist and a counselor and I hope that I have caught myself in time, this time. It is weird b/c part of me KNOWS that restricting my food is NOT okay, but the other part of me does it anyway. I do find that not knowing what I weigh helps tremendously.....I don't find myself obsessing as much over what I eat. My dr also switched me to Lexapro instead of Buspar and I have noticed a huge improvement there as well. My DH doesn't understand....he thinks that b/c I am eating that I am okay....I tried to explain to him that my thought process is what can get me in trouble and I am manipulating what I eat to lose or to not gain weight.
Sorry for the long winded intro. I look forward to reading info here and getting to know others who understand.
Kim
Edited 12/7/2005 3:06 pm ET by klty

Hi Kim,
Thanks for posting and sharing your story with us. I am glad you found us.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things which is awesome. With a good therapist, opening up to others, and being honest with yourself I think recovering is possible. I hope we will 'see' more of you on this board and that you will continue to share how you are doing. I also hope that this board will give you encouragement and hope during tough times.
Love & hugs, Kristina
“It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what keeps things running right.” ANNE LAMOTT
The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.
Love & hugs, Kristina
Welcome, Kim, glad to have you here!
I wish studies would get up to date with the facts -- that many of us still have problems years and years later, that it's not just a teen-age issue!
Hope to hear from you again soon --
~Diana~
Hi there. tynmaddiesma,
Welcome to the board -- I hope you will find a comfy place to sit & talk.
I am sorry to hear about your loss.
~Diana~
Edited 12/22/2005 12:10 am ET by kittywitty2006
I bulimic since about 2002. Have had therapy since 1997 about other issues. Am 25 now. Remember thinking that 5 foot and 100lbs was too much, so refused desserts and seconds. Was in sports, music and dance. In 2003 refused to eat anything except a boost drink for 42 days, and lost 30 lbs. After that I decided to purge after meals.