Worried

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Worried
4
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 8:00pm

Hi, I am new here.

I am worried about my sister, she has told me that she binges and purges and she abuses exlax. For several years now she has been obsessed with her weight (thanks to her ******* boyfriend). She has been rail thin at times and has had that gaunt look. She either porks out terribly and feels guilty or she eats next to nothing. She gets extreme with her exercising at times too.

We don't talk much since we both have our lives to live, but she has brought up the subject a couple of times. She has an addictive personality, because if she's not eating properly, or even when she is, she also drinks everyday, not to the point of drunkenness, but to the point of where shes admitted to being an alcoholic. I tend to think that she drinks to help herself not to eat.

She won't go see a councellor. Is there anyone here that will tell me what I can do to help someone in this situation? I hate to see someone I love destroy themselves.

Please help!

KD,

Cuddles, Snuggles, Dudette,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: sick_tired_lady
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 9:26am

I highly recommend this site:

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: sick_tired_lady
Thu, 01-26-2006 - 6:53pm

Hi - welcome and thank you for posting.

The site Diana mentioned is excellent and you will get great info there. Of course you are also encouraged and welcome to post here any time you have questions or maybe just need to vent.

I think the fact that your sister has brought up the subject on her own and one more than one occasion shows that she is looking for help. Maybe she is not ready yet for counseling yet, but she might hit bottom and be willing to go. Other alternatives are AA, OA (www.overeatersanonymous.org), and/or EDA (www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org). The best thing you can do is listen, offer to help, show concern, be honest with her about your concern for her, and most of all don't try to force her to eat. Keep in mind that EDs are NOT about food or a woman's body. The extreme focus on what to eat or not to eat, overeating, purging, etc. are all just ways we have learned to cope with life. There is something else going on emotionally that your sister does not want to deal with. It could be something current or something from her childhood. So if she talks about how much she has eaten, her body, etc. try to take the focus OFF those subjects and ask her about her feelings, what's going on in her life, or what she is worried about.

I know all this is easier said than done. Ultimately until your sister WANTS to recover there is not much you can do. But again, SHE brought it up to you and that's a great sign.

Please keep us posted.

Love & hugs, Kristina


“It helps to resign as the controller of your fate. All that energy we expend to keep things running right is not what keeps things running right.” ANNE LAMOTT



The opinions I have expressed here are from my own experience and are not intended as medical advice or to take the place of your own physician's advice.


Love & hugs, Kristina

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: sick_tired_lady
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 6:52pm

Thanks for directing me to that site, it has some very helpful advice. I added it to my favorites so I can refer to it when I need to.

KD

KD,

Cuddles, Snuggles, Dudette,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
In reply to: sick_tired_lady
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 6:55pm

Thank you so much for your help. You have definitely given me something to think about.

I know there is some major issues in her life, and now I know not to focus on the eating end of it.

Thanks,

KD

KD,

Cuddles, Snuggles, Dudette,