I am really afraid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
I am really afraid.
1
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 5:35pm
My name is Kim. I used to have an eating disorder, but we found out that it wasn't ever because I thought I was fat. I used to eat a whole lot of food and then purge, but the only reason I did it was because I couldn't stand the feeling of being full. I felt like my stomach was going to explode. So I just threw it up. It's been about six years since I have done that, but I still have what the doctor's call"involuntary relapses" every couple of years or so. My problem now is that I stopped working to stay at home with my three year old daughter and I have started to gain a little weight. Normally I would be ecstatic about it, seeing as I am 5'8" and 101 lbs and have been wanting to gain weight desperately since I was nine years old. Now I keep looking at myself and despite that I am still really thin, I keep playing with the tiny bits of"flab" on my stomach and am upset that I have "meat" on my bones. What's weird is my weight really hasn't changed, it's more like I have just filled out a little. I keep thinking in my head tthat I need to start working out and toning up more than I already am. Could this be signs of a potential eating disorder? I have never felt this way about myself. I feel completely unattractive. Will someone help me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 10:26pm

Hi Kim, nice to meet you and welcome to the board.


So ... are you binging and purging now because you feel unattractive?

 

 

~Diana~