Bulemia=addiction?
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Bulemia=addiction?
| Wed, 03-08-2006 - 12:31am |
Is bulemia an addiction? I feel that way. I had gone so long with out these tendenices. . .and now, I am going through a really stressful time and they burst back into the scene. The panicky feeling after I eat and the unconrollable desire to binge. I just want to cry so bad. I thought I had this think kicked. . .that I was strong enough to beat it forever. But I am not. I am weak.
~Renee

You are not weak for having a slip. That happens to the best of us. You were strong enough to beat it before and you can beat it again.
Yes I do think EDs can be an addiction. I think I'm addicted to mine.
Not an expert, just my opinion FWIW.
Renee,
I think that ED's are an addiction. I currently find myself in a situation very similar to yours. About 2 years ago I thought I'd kicked my 4 year struggle with bulimia - but now my life is more stressful than ever and I find myself throwing up almost daily. It is incredibly disheartening to feel like you've conquered it only to have it resurface again at the most stressful time in your life. I read people's comments on this site all the time, but have never had the courage to post - however, when I read yours today I felt like I was looking into a mirror / reading my own story. I know exactly how you feel - overwhelmed, weak, disappointed in yourself, out of control...
I've done a lot of research on bulimia and one thing I've read is that eating disorders are considered an addiction by most people in the psychology field. There are both psychological & physical effects that make the behavior addicting... However, I think even more so I can see first hand in my life that it is an addiction. I hate that I do it, but at the same time, in the heat of a stressful moment I know that I can turn to it to cope with the stress / pain in my life & for a short time I'll feel better (in a weird way).
That being said - I keep telling myself that I've beat it before and I can do it again (though it does seem harder this time)... I'm not in the position really to give you any advice - but my encouragement to you would be to know that you aren't alone and that you've done it before, so you can do it again! I think we (me included) just need to find healthier means for dealing with stress!
Have a good day,
Jen
Try to stay strong! Have you actually started to binge again? Is your stressful situation long-term? It is amazing how stress can throw you right back into the cycle.
Good luck.
Laurie
First of all, I'd like to say that I am not an expert or knowledgeable about ED. It's a subject I've talked about on a couple of my boards, and I've read here and there. I'm going through the something-fishy.org website right now, in order to try to understand it more. If anyone has any other suggestions for good websites about ED, I'd appreciate if you could give me the links.
This is a very interesting thread. You'll see from my siggie below that I co-CL the Self-Injury board with Amanda/schitz. Self-injury has also been described by many as addictive. Why? Because it brings about relief that is very intense/powerful and quick. Switching to safe and positive coping methods is made hard because these don't bring relief that is quick nor as powerful as with self-injury. When we are suffering and in need of quick relief, we turn to what has worked for us.
I think also that even when we've been keeping safe for quite some time, the fact that we are in a situation that is stressful or that reminds us of previous situations where we turned to ED or SI also makes it so much more easier to go back to negative coping methods. At times we don't even think about it - we only realize that we've done it after the fact.
Renee - please don't blame yourself and beat yourself up by telling yourself that you are weak. You aren't. Part of the healing process will take us forward 300 steps, then suddenly we go back to what seems like square 1. It doesn't mean that we're weak or condemned to a life with SI, ED or PTSD. What feels like square 1 is only a feeling. When you were at square 1, you didn't know anything. Right now you are better equipped to deal with the ED and the issues surrounding it because you've been there before.
You've all been able to move away from ED ad you've been successful at keeping safe and healthy. What did work for you when you were battling ED? When you were triggered then, how did you keep safe? We all go through periods of stress, but what is it about the stress that you are facing now that makes it triggering for you?
On the SI I often suggest to people to write down a list of all the safe coping methods that they can use when they are being triggered and feel unsafe. Methods range from deep belly breathing in order to ground and calm oneself,
thanks for your insight Poppy - I think you hit the nail on the head several times in your post.
another great ED site is http://www.mirror-mirror.org/eatdis.htm
~Diana~
Thank you for the link! I'm going there now :-)
Thanks, pinkdaisy -- I too have bookmarked the site.
~Diana~