ahh please help:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
ahh please help:(
4
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 4:12pm

combo of not a good time at school...including almost no friends....and being depressed about gaining a little weight...led me to compulsive eating. That was in september! ever since i eat soooo much and have gained so much. Im seeing a therapist and everything but its not worth it! some days i dont eat that much and exercise but then lots of times i end up binging. it makes me cry almost every nite. i remember how thin i was and athletic and how out of shape now. why cant i just be in the 120's and athletic again...thats a normal weight! even tho i thought i was attractive in summer....it ended up making me fatter than ever and sooo unhappy. sometimes i dont see a pt to living. i know looks arent everything but i dont have manyh friends and get no attention from guys. i have no confidence and feel so fat. i want to lose weight...FAST....without going too restrictive. more importantly i want to get some guy friends, more friends that are girls, and just some self confidence! and yes, weight loss would be wonderful. im a mess. yesterday i ate almost a dozen big cookies. please help...and tell me im not alone!

~ ready to give up

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: emaj17
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 6:23pm

Hello (((emaj17)))


I'm so sorry you are having a hard time in your life right now.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: emaj17
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 5:33am

Hi Emaj!


No, Emaj, you are not alone. There are a lot of people who are in your situation or a similar one to yours. I hope that you will take up Diana's offer and use this board as one of your support networks. Talking to others who do understand where you are coming from brings a big relief and comfort, as well as support at times when we need it.


How long have you been in therapy? I hope that you won't stop seeing your therapist - it takes time to build a working relationship and see good results from the sessions. Diana had a brilliant idea - ask your therapist for a referral to a dietician. You can work with the dietician not only on your diet but also to learn good eating habits. If you were athletic before, try to exercise regularly, too. Exercise is not only good for your overall health (and for weight loss) it will also help you with the feelings of sadness. Even if you just walk 45 minutes a day, it'll make you feel better. Trust me, I've been there.


I hope that you are working with your therapists on the reasons why you are depressed, and why you have a low self-esteem right now. I don't know how you physically look like IRL, but you sound like a lovely young woman. How we physically look is important, but our whole is not only made up of the physical. There's what a lot of people call inner beauty, and that is a mix of your personality and character, your values, the way you interact with other people, the unique things that you bring into your friendships. If a guy is attracted to your body alone, then I'd walk towards the exit as fast as possible. You are so much more than that, and I hope that you will find friends who appreciate you for who you are, and who are smart and sensitive enough to see the whole of you - inside and out - and not only the packaging.


What are your hobbies? Whare are your passions? What would you like to do later on?


I hope you come back because we hope to



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
In reply to: emaj17
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 1:42pm

thanks so much:) i really needed your advice. its so hard to talk to people about it beacuse it embarasses me. I dont like to even see people that i saw in the summer because ive gained so much weight. And i think you're right the eating thing comes from deeper problems. Every year a seem to lose another friend and like i said guys dont even talk to me. Im trying to work on self confidence, but its so hard when im disgusted with how i look. Ive been seeing a therapist only for about a month and i was considering antidepressants..but im not even sure if i need them. I want something to boost my mood, make me want to exercise, and not eat a lot. (sounds like a magic pill!) sigh. i appreciate the advice. i hope we can keep in touch! ikll check out the overeating board...thanks!

-ellen "emaj17"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: emaj17
Mon, 03-20-2006 - 8:11am

Hi Ellen,


For me it took a couple of months of therapy before I saw changes in the way that I saw the situation I was then in. It takes time to uncover the roots of our sorrows. But for me it was worth it, and I hope that you'll decide to continue with your own sessions.


If you are feeling depressed, anti-depressants might be something that can help you. There are no magic pills and miracle solutions, though, so don't have any unrealistic expectations! But they can help alleviate some of the symptoms of depressions so that you can function better in your day-to-day life. The deeper problems themselves won't go away with the medication. They will only go away when you've dealt with them, one by one.


If you lack motivation to exercise, then you have to ask yourself why? Are you exercising by yourself at home? Are you going to a gym? Are you doing