~*~QOTW~*~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
~*~QOTW~*~
17
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 4:49pm

I realize I'm posting this near the end of the week.  Take your time with this, though.


 


What does the word *fat* mean to you?


 

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~~Diana~~


xoxoxoxoxo


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We'll get there yet .... !!!!  Image hosting by Photobucket


Please everyone remember:  :o)http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bheating&msg=13680.1&ctx=128

 

 

~Diana~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 9:58am

Hi kg,


(((Hugs)) to you and thanks for replying.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 04-19-2006 - 10:03am

Hi Amanda -- I am so sorry it has taken

 

 

~Diana~

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Thu, 04-20-2006 - 4:15pm

Well my mood has increased once again, and I am trying to do more and more of the things on my wellness plan.


My eating disorder is still not under control. I still want to lose weight. i can't get passed that. I want to be a certain weight for my friend's wedding.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 6:06am

Hmm... interesting question, Diane.


I'm of two minds about this.


There's a part of me that hates fat and the fat genes I've inherited. I hate it with a vengeance when I am fat, and really, it's not easy being a taller, bigger Asian model with generous hips when your compatriots are naturally tiny, slim (from the front) and thin (in profile).


Fat for me means letting go, not caring and taking care enough of oneself, not taking care of one's health. It means running towards food during emotional distress (my mother is a compulsive eater).


There's the survivor of sexual abuse in me who likes fat. Fat means that I become invisible, I don't stand out anymore, I don't shine out. No leers, no suggestive looks. Being invisible and unattractive makes me feel safe, and with safety come comfort.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 10:49am

I know what you mean about the leers and looks.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 12:57am

No, I didn't mean model as in model but as type. Though I did model briefly when I was a teenager and I was offered to be a model had I wanted to lose about 10 lbs.


I'm just generally taller than the average Asian. There are a lot of young Asians who are very tall these days (a few cousins and nieces and nephews come to mind), but yeah, I'm still taller than most in the streets or at the malls.


Yes, I am really uncomfortable with the way I look, and not only with regards to my body. When someone says I look lovely or am beautiful, etc, I don't believe them. Talking about beauty (mine) is a subject that

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 12:06pm

I think I can see why you're uncomfy with comments about your looks, considering your history.

 

 

~Diana~

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