the latest...xpost

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Registered: 02-06-2004
the latest...xpost
Fri, 04-14-2006 - 4:11am
 

Well here's the latest.


My expressive arts class was good. We made a colour wheel painting. We were supposed to get to another painting, but didn't have the time. I was there early and showed the instructor my previous work. She says I'm a natural (haha!) I also showed her a sketch I had done on the bus on the way home from group the previous week. She said I should paint it, so I sketched it on the bigger paper and started painting it. I only got the tree done and will work on it before class from now on until it's done.


Wednesday I had a dr, and pdoc appt. I wasn't in a very good mood. I wasn't the day before either. I found myself overreacting to things. I missed the bus and wanted to cut myself (which I haven't done in months and no, I didn't) and I dropped my pen cap and started crying. That was Tuesday actually. The art class helped bring my spirits up that night. Wednesday is normally grocery day but my buddy didn't call me and I forgot too. So I got mad about that and mad at my friend which I shouldn't have. She had to work and even though she said she'd stop by with my chq that night and didn't show up, I shouldn't hate her for it. Then today I get a gift bag with some easter goodies and a chq for my meds and then I love her all over again (typical "borderline" behaviour, same with the mood reactivity), and then I feel guilty for being mad at her.


My dr's appt was okay. We didn't talk much, just got my meds for the month and told him that I feel like a hypochondriac because any time I notice something out of the ordinary I am convinced that I'm dying of cancer. "That's highly unlikely" he said. Not very comforting to me. Maybe I am a hypochondriac. I feel like he should run tests or something. I also felt almost abandoned (again borderline behaviour) when he said why doesn't your pdoc give you your meds, would have saved a trip here. I said I guess because you were doing them before I started seeing her.


My pdoc appt was good, I think. We got into some painful stuff so I did a lot of thinking last night. But I did my homework too (from the pdoc that is). She said that I have to do something nice for myself because of all the work that we put in. So instead of going to Chapters and getting a coffee and perusing the magazines, I went to Tim Hortons and got a smoothee and lit some candles, turned on the oldies and read some of the magazines I already have stacked up around my house.


Today I slept all day, so I didn't get to school during the day to come online. I went to my eating disorder group and it was good. I said a lot about what others had to say but didn't get to talk about my week. That's okay. (again the borderline in me feels slighted by that, but I'll deal).


Tomorrow the busses are on holiday schedule. It was my plan to come to school and stay over till Saturday because my exam is at 9am Saturday, but then when I found out about the bus schedule I knew the busses wouldn't be running into Ancaster so I went to school tonight. This is exactly where I was a year ago, but I was manic and stayed up all night studying every night for a week. I guess I should tell you that we have "all night study" during exams and they don't close the student centre like they normally would.

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