New here, wanted to say hello
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New here, wanted to say hello
| Thu, 04-27-2006 - 11:43pm |
I'm new here, and I hope it's all right if I post. I'm twenty-two years old, and I've had problems with anorexia and bulimia since I was fourteen. Some days are better than others, but I just can't seem to break the cycle altogether. Just when I think that I'm leaving the eating disordered behaviors behind me, something happens in my life, and I relapse back into them. It's very frustrating. It makes me very sad. I wish that I could just feel better about myself and stop these behaviors, but it's not that easy.

Welcome to the board and our community, Perfect Star!
You sound like you need and deserve huge gentle ((((((((((hugs)))))))))). I am glad that you've decided to post here.
Changing thought and behaviour patterns is never easy. These are most probably two of the most difficult things to change about ourselves as they are so interlinked with many
Hi there perfectstar and welcome.
Poppy has so beautifully described the recovery process, but then, that's the way she is with things :)
It is a process of discovery.
~Diana~
Hi! Thanks so much for your warm welcome! I'm not currently in therapy. I went for about five or six sessions about a year or so ago, but the therapist said that my eating problems were caused by something wrong in my life, and once I fixed what was wrong, they would just go away. I suppose that could be true, but I think that they are caused by lots of different things and I can't imagine them "just going away." I think he just wasn't the right therapist for me. I quit going to him, and he filed me under refusal of treatment against advice.
I do keep a journal. It's very helpful, and I like to go back and read earlier entries. I don't really have a support network to help me. Most of my friends just try to force feed me, which doesn't really help in the long term.
I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to be so negative. I know that I need to change my life and that I can't go on like this. I'm already trying to cut back on diet pills and weighing myself so much. I know I should just get rid of my scale, but I don't feel ready to do that yet.
Thanks so much for your kind words and support. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, too. I hope that you are having a great day!
the therapist said that my eating problems were caused by something wrong in my life, and once I fixed what was wrong, they would just go away.
~Diana~
I'm very glad that you replied to me. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your support and kind words. I've checked out the Something Fishy website once before, but I'll definitely go check it out again. I'm interested in the lists of DO's and DON'Ts. I think those might be really helpful for my friends to read. I know that eating disorders can be very hard to understand and deal with for the friends and family of someone with one. I don't even understand my own eating disorder half the time. Like, I think, "Today, I will just stop and eat normally," but it's not that easy. I really wish that it were, though! I get tired of living like this.
Thanks for the great advice. I hope that you are having a great day. I'm really looking forward to getting to know you better, too.
I remember one year, long ago, when I was housesitting for my parents, I decided that was it.
~Diana~
Giving friends these things really does help - take it from me. I've done it before, not for ED but for PTSD, and it has helped those who are around me understand what I'm going through. It's also helped me understand myself, at time.
It really is difficult for people to understand what others are going through especially when we ourselves are trying to figure it out. There are days I'd like everything that isn't going well to just go away, too. That it can be as simple as doing a meditation and blowing away the depression out of my life, and washing away the pain that I feel inside. When it's like this I remind myself that it takes time, and that each day I move forward is one step that I've taken away from the pain. Which means I'm one step closer to the end of the tunnel. I remind myself to enjoy what I can each day, and not allow the negative stuff to take over my life. It's not easy, but no one said it would be easy.
Hey Poppy, about that negative stuff.
An idea for another post, if you don't mind ... are you inspiring or what.
It will be about ways to "blow that negative stuff" off.
Say like today.
~Diana~
Hey, I'm honoured to be an inspiration!
Don't worry about staying in late, and don't be mad at yourself. You needed the sleep and we can't function when we are sleep deprived. I myself took a nap today, and it made me feel a lot better!