New and in need of support
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New and in need of support
| Mon, 05-22-2006 - 1:35pm |
Hello, my name Heidi and i'm currently batteling bulimia. I battled it 11 years ago in highschool for only a couple months....I don't rememer what made me stop. I then went through it again in 2002 a few months before I got married because I wanted to look good in my wedding dress. I admitted it to my then fiance and I just stopped. I just stopped, just like that! Since January 1st of this year it has come back and this time I can't stop. I even admitted it to my husband in February thinking I would stop....and I didn't. I have a 10 year old girl I had when I was 18 and never really lost all the weight from that pregnancy. I went from 110 to 185 and getting back to 165. When I got married in 2002 my husband and I got pregnant immediatly. I had him in October 2003 and he passed away in March 2004 from SIDS. I got pregnant again immediatly after he passed away and had my sweet daughter in January 2005. I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years and from being at home and having back to back pregnancies I packed on the weight. I got up to 200 pounds. For this past Christmas we got a treadmill. Between the treadmill and getting the flu on January 1st....I saw how much weight I lost with throwing up with the flu.....things just snowballed and now it's out of control. It has become such and addiction, I don't know how to stop. My husband knows I have not stopped and I have told a couple close friends. They have been up my back to get help, they are constantly calling me and threatening to bring their kids over unless I make the call. I have and started seeing a counselor....after 2 sessions I stopped. I can tell she isn't going to help. I need more indepth counseling. I have contacted a treatment center and waiting to here back from them today. *Sigh*, I just don't know how any of this will help. Basically, if you have made it this far into reading, I would love to hear others recovery stories or those going through recovery now. Maybe I will get some hope that there truly is help. Thanks for reading this long story! Heidi

Hello there, Heidi, and welcome to the board!
It sounds like you're doing all the right things. Though you may feel confused and unsure, the fact that you are looking for the right treatment is a real thumbs up.
~Diana~
((((((((((Heidi))))))))))
I am really glad that you are getting help right now. I hope that you are going to be able to find a new therapist with whom you can work well very soon.
I might be wrong, but perhaps the very big difference between then and now is that then you had a very short term goal (to fit into your wedding dress) and that you were happy overall. Now, it's perhaps not only a question of losing weight and becoming your slim self again, but also (maybe) shedding some of the emotional pain and burden that you are carrying with you. You've gone through a lot, and the death of a child due to SIDS is one of the most tragic things that can happen. You are wise to realize that you need in depth counseling, and you are a truly courageous lady for taking this in both your hands.
As long as you don't lose hope, then recovery is possible. That's what I know, and what I believe.
Hugs,