Question about EDs - Poss. Trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Question about EDs - Poss. Trigs
5
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 10:32am

This may contain triggers, I'm not sure. But I wanted to put that out there.


A little background on me - I'm bipolar and currently being treated for that. Recently my depression has come back and I lost my appetite. I don't want to eat anymore. My tdoc got on me about the not eating last week and told me basically that she doesn't want me to lose anymore weight. Well, I tried to force myself to eat and literally gagged. I wanted to go to the bathroom and purge. I've tried at least once a day since then, thinking it was just a fluke, but the results are the same. I'm afraid to tell my tdoc this, especially since I've lost more weight.


I guess my question here is does this sound like an eating disorder or just everyday stress that I can't handle?


Thanks for listening and I apologize if I triggered anyone.


MauiMomma

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 11:49am

Hi there mauimomma, and welcome to the ed board (((gentle hugs)))


First off, it is very sensitive
 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 5:39pm

Thank you Diana. I have been in treatment for my bipolar for approximately 2 and a half years. I am on my 2nd pdoc who finally has me on meds that pretty much work. The depression I'm in now is situational and meds aren't going to fix it. I just have to work my way through it. I'm just not handling it well. First I thought about hurting myself but knew tdoc would really come down on me, so I gave her all my sharp objects yesterday. So, instead of hurting myself that way, I stopped eating. My tdoc is not happy with me not eating and made it known. So I've been trying to eat and that's when the gag reflex happens. I can drink and probably swallow a pill. I am drinking water and juices.


I think what scares me about tdoc is she came close to putting me in the hospital this past winter and I am afraid that she will actually do it if I can't start eatingl And it's senseless to lie to her and tell her I'm eating because I'm dropping weight like mad. So I will see her tomorrow and I'm really scared.


Don't get me wrong, my tdoc is wonderful and I am lucky to have found her. She just has what she thinks are my best interests at heart. It's just a matter of cost and the fact that I have 3 children and no husband (the source of this latest bout of depression).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 9:26pm

Good for you for giving up your sharps!

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 11:22pm

My children are my driving force too. I am preparing to go to court to get more support from xh for them. The problem with that as far as the stress goes is that the court date probably won't be until October. He seems to think that I'm digging for gold. I'm not, I'm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 9:52am

I had to do that at one time, also.

 

 

~Diana~