Tdoc said...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Tdoc said...
15
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 10:53pm

...That I have to eat. This doesn't really surprise me. She said if I don't/can't eat that I have to start drinking ensure. She thinks I maybe have given up on things going on in my life even if it's subconsciously.  I haven't lost enough weight for her to be worried. So if I can lose no more than 10 pounds I'll be in good shape.  But that depends on my ability to eat. I've got to get past the gag problem because it's gotten to the point where I am fighting strong urges to purge. Tonight I came closer than I have ever been. I think it's scaring me more than tdoc. Of course, she doesn't know of the latest bout. tonight. I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into this. This whole situation just freaks me out. I'm worried that something serious is going on. My paranoia is taking hold is about all I know.


Thank you for listening.


Maui

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
In reply to: mauimomma
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 8:40am

Hi Maui:

Your therapist can't MAKE you do anything. It's one of the reasons I love mine so much. She knows it, and while she is helping me figure out why I restrict so much, she can't force me to eat anything - I like that. Don't get me wrong, she cares about me, but I have to want to do it on my own. For me, the motivating factor is my horse. I want to be strong enough to ride her - however, I am still only taking in between 100 - 500 calories a day, if I eat at all.

I've dropped a significant amount of weight but not enough to be considered a canidate for IP.

You may want to check out www.something-fishy.org - it's a wonderful community for those of us suffering with ED's. I don't know how old you are but as someone in her mid-thirties, I didn't think there would be many people on that website with ED's in my age range - boy was I wrong! It's a very supportive community for ALL ages. Just an FYI.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 10:36am

Hi and thank you for your input. My tdoc is looking out, I think, for my best interests. She knows that I have 3 kids depending on me and the last thing I need is to have a total breakdown in any way shape or form. And starvation is one sure way to land me in the hospital. I know that much and I think that's what my tdoc was trying to get across to me.


I did check out the site you sent me. I could relate with the ed-nos. That sounded very much like what I'm going through. I've been hoping for the past 2 weeks it would go away but it just seems to hang on. I don't know what to do next. I guess try the instnt brekfast drinks. I can handle them (or at least I used to be able to)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
In reply to: mauimomma
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 11:08am

I agree with you regarding the Ensure - YUCK! My first nutritionist wanted me to drink them and all I can say is no thank you! I have protein shakes my personal trainer recommends but and they are good, but I can't even stomach those right now.

I am sure your T is looking out for your best interest - I told mine as well that either I was going to get better or land in the hospital - she agreed.

I hope you decide to join something fishy - as I said the people are really supportive there and especially where you've got kiddos to watch out for - you can't do that and be sick too.

Take care of yourself - hope to see you on the fishy boards!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 10:00am

something-fishy has really great resources, exercises to work through for the emotional part.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 10:44am

Hang in, Maui.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 12:19pm

Thanks Diana. I only meet with my tdoc once a week for about 15 minutes. The reason is that I cannot afford to pay for both my dd and me (dd also has bp and is in more need of T than I am).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 6:52pm

(((Maui))) I have a ds also who suffers. He is 14 now and started showing signs when he was about 11.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 7:17pm

Diana,


How do you hold it all together? I've been told that I'm strong and can do it, and all that. And I did for a while, but I just can't do it anymore. I feel like I'm out of energy and out of steam. It makes not eating a lot easier. Does that make any sense? Thanks for listening.


Maui

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 9:24pm

Hi Maui,


I take things as they come and it is not always easy.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
In reply to: mauimomma
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 11:14pm

Thanks Diana. Taking it one day at a time is what I try to do. Sometimes it has to be an hour or even a minute at a time. I sent an e-mail to my tdoc today to let her know I may be calling her before my next mini-visit. That I'm not holding up real well. Eating has been almost impossible the past couple of days. I've tried, but I just can't stomach anything. I'm still trying in the hope that something will stick.


My kids are wonderful. They know something isn't quite right with me, but we all try to work around my problem. I give them lots of love. They are more important to me than anything and because of them I'm trying. I just hope that I can get through this mess outside of the hospital.


I will take your advice to heart and I will keep posting. Thanks again.


Maui

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