looking for answers

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
looking for answers
5
Tue, 06-27-2006 - 11:30pm
Hi. I have never been to this board before but I have a few questions and thought maybe I could find some answers/input here. I have a friend who is mid 40's who has always been concerned with her weight/appearance, but things have gotten what I think is out of control in the past two years or so. She has always been an athletic person her entire life, but all thru her teen years and into her late 20's she struggled with being a bit overweight. At around age 30, she decided to really start eating healthy and running and working out on a regular basis, but was doing everything in a healthy manner, at a healthy pace. She dropped some weight, but again was still a healthy size 8/10. About 3 years ago, she became very particular about her weight. She is constantly concerned with the numbers the scale says, and even more so with the numbers on the inside of her clothing. She always wants to be "just a size smaller." She is now teetering on a 2/4. She doesn't LOOK unhealthy (skin and bones) but the means to get her to these "numbers" is what I think is over the edge behavior. She counts every single calorie, gram of fat, carb she puts in her mouth and everything she eats is carefully planned out. If she starys from her plan by so much as eating a handful of pretzels between meals for a snack when she's hungry, she feels she MUST make up for it by burning it off with exercise the next day. Her daily (7 day a week) routine is 90 minutes of cardio every morning. She gets up at 3am every day so she has time to do her cardio and shower for work. After work she does strength training for anywhere between 60-90 minutes a day, 5 days a week. When the weather permits, she swims or runs or plays tennis, etc on weekends instead of strength training. A day of exercise cannot be missed. She has had a few minor surgeries/procedures in the past couple of years, and she is always back to working out before the doc clears her (without his knowledge) b/c she cannot stay away from it that long. She has diagnosed HERSELF with IBS, and says that b/c of the "bloated, fat stomach" she has due to IBS, she must not be emptying her bowel enough or her stomach wouldn't stick out as much as it does, so she uses laxitives several times a week. She is not honest with her docs about her weight loss, never disclosing how much she exercises or how little she eats or the use of laxitives with them. I have asked her to please go talk to someone, just to get the opinion of a professional about her behaviors, but she refuses, insisting that there is nothing wrong or out of control with her behavior, that she is as healthy as healthy can be. Am I being too critical and totally off here thinking she needs to seek help or does this sound like she is in trouble? I have talked to her family, but they believe if she says she has everything under control, she must. Is there anything else I can do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 8:09am
She definately has a problem. I don't think there's much you can do until she either becomes ill, or figures out for herself that she has a problem. I would definately give her some reading material about eating disorders and also, about the dangers of laxative abuse. Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 2:29pm

Hi cara!

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 6:06pm

Diana,

Thank you so much for posting those links. I've often thought that I couldn't be anorexic b/c I don't restrict my caloric intake to below a certain number of calories daily. I'm 5'4 and 120 lbs so outwardly, I don't look like someone with an eating disorder. I have a lot of the psychological and personality traits of someone who might indeed have one. Among other things, I'm terrified of gaining weight (to the point of not wanting to have a child b/c I don't want to lose my figure). In fact, the other day I caught myself thinking about what weight I have to get down to prior to getting pregnant so that I won't look too overweight when I do. Hmmm...probably not a healthy thought. After completing the questionnaire on the website you posted, I've realized that maybe my obsession with weight loss isn't just me being a vain, 20 something who is afraid of getting older. It's likely a lot more than that.

Anyway, thanks for the post. I think the light bulb has gone off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 2:13pm

Hi there!


No, you are not vain.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2006
Sat, 07-01-2006 - 10:07pm

Hello. I suffered from the same disorder that you described your friend as having. She's definitely what I call as exercise bullima which is she is addicted to working out and burning more calories than she consumes. I think your concern and support are all you can do at this point. She's a grown woman right? It's up to her to seek help. I think you should continue talking to her and ask her if she's happy with her body. If she's not happy than ask her what would happen if she were to get a stress fracture that put her out for a week. She could be doing a lot more harm to her body by exercising too much. I found that when I took off a few days and switched my workouts up a bit, I got better results and felt more energetic. Does she have energy to go out with friends and go to social events with all of her exercising? If not, then is it all worth it? Ask her. I think your a great friend to be so concerned. Also, you and your friend might be interested in FattyChat.com. It's a self-help forum for women with similar issues. You both can start your own journal and keep up with the latest news in health.

J.D.