Hi - my introduction & confession
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| Sat, 10-28-2006 - 10:51pm |
Hey everyone,
I've been lurking around for a while and figured I should at least introduce myself. I was dealing with anorexia on/off for two years before things went spiraling out of control in 1999. My parents put me in a strict outpatient program in the spring of 1999. Three days a week of group therapy, one session a week with a counselor and a nutritionist. Progress was a roller coaster. Some weeks were great and some were horrible. In September '99, I hit rock bottom. My counselor, nutritionist, and psychologist threatened to put me in Renfrew if I didn't show any improvements. For the most part it woke me up. Here I was faced with being forced to leave school, friends, and family - and I was about not to let that happen. Things started changing for the better a few weeks later. Unfortunately, as many of you have probably experienced, insurance ran out and I could no longer go to therapy. I had to figure the rest of way.
Some 7 years later, things are much better. I learned how to cope with life and whatever it has planned for me. I won't lie. My confesion is that a little bit of my anorexia has stuck around. Most days I can keep myself in check. But not everyday is full of roses. I am able to be conscious of when I have my ED thoughts and triggers. No one around me knows that I occassionally struggle. They figured that I was "cured forever". They never realized it was a lifestyle change that I would have to live with.
I hope all of you in treatment so much luck and positive thoughts your way. It's a struggle and sometimes you'll get tired want to quit or you get so angry that you'll wonder if it's all worth it. But it is really all worth it. Things do get better!
Thanks for your time, Catherine




Hi Catherine, and welcome to the board!
Thank you for your story of hope and inspiration.
~Diana~
It's funny because the moment that really changed me is as clear to me as if it happened yesterday, yet I can't remember what I wore yesterday. I was having major issues with my roommate, stuggling in school, and had just had a very bad break up with a mean guy. I didn't think I could take anymore chaos in my life when my counselor met with me and told me they needed to see improvements or they were going to suggest to my parents that I go to Renfrew. A few nights later, I went out with a few friends to a bar and saw my ex-boyfriend. I kept myself together but by the time my friend drove me home I was a wreck. I was hysterical; things were
Ah, you are doing things just
~Diana~
He he he. No, you're not being rude at all! I'm 28 yrs old now. Wikes! Where did past couple years go? I was just in college! The story is a combo of sad, funny, and amazing. My husband and I were married for less than a year and we figured that we wanted a lot of kids. But at the time I was 26 yrs. old and if we wanted a lot of kids we needed to get started at that moment. So we decided in
That is so freaking incredible. What a wonderful and heart-warming story.
I am 20, and have suffered with EDs all my life, it seems. I say EDs because I have dealt with overeating, bulimia, and anorexia...The symptoms have changed throughout the years. It's a painful process to get over.
This year, I got to my lowest weight- my mother who has always said "one can never be too thin" begged me to gain some weight because I looked "skeletal." So, I have been seeing a counsellour. I've put on ten pounds, and I'm freaking out. I've been eating incredible amounts because now that I'm eating I have that "screw it, I'll just eat everything" feeling. Sigh.
Anyway, my DF and I have wanted to start trying to have a child (within the next year or so), and that's where my question came in. I have not had a period for about four months now. My period has always been irregular due to eating issues and birth control. I have not been on birth control for over two years now, but my periods are still crazy. (This may be TMI, but...) The last time we had sex, I got a slight cramp on my side, so I think I may re-start having my period; what do you think?
I know that whole "screw it, I'll eat everything" attitude a little too well. Just be careful with that thinking. It can lead to other not so healthy thoughts and actions. Eat for your health and well being - not to keep people off your back. If you do it for yourself, everything else falls in place. Just remember, small steps are better than no steps. Remain positive!
The thing about gaining weight and getting back to good health is such a roller coaster. One moment you are proud of your progress but the next moment you feel as though everything is falling apart. It's those moments when you feel like the world is just not going right that your ED starts to creep in. I give myself quick pep talks like "C'mon Cat, just relax. Don't freak out." I try to stop it before it even tries to make it's appearance. But be nice to yourself. Make sense? (Geez, it makes sense when you're thinking about it not when writing it out.)
As for you parents, do they do any counseling sessions with you? My parents did a couple with me just to get an understanding. I think they kind of understood better. Does your DF ever go to sessions with you? It's good to get them to undertand, it's more people on your "cheering squad". With understanding, they can provide an even better support.
Before you and DF try to conceive, I'd meet with an OB/GYN. I had irregular periods from the start but they got even more irratic during my bad ED years. It eventually has regulated itself. My OB/GYN said that he'd prefer for me to have at least 3 months of regular periods before trying to conceive. It kinda gives the doc the reassurance that the organs are working correctly. Has your doc changed your BC? Higher or lower hormones? Different type (ie.pill, patch, shot)? Tell your OB/GYN that you want to try to conceive within the next year and your current health. He/she will tell you the course of action that needs to be taken before it's an ideal time.
The cramp thing sounds like you can be starting your period again. I get slight cramps a week before my period and that has only occurred within the last couple years. When your body is going through so much already, it's so hard to figure out what's going on. But if you want to have a baby soon, do talk to your OG/GYN. They'll be able to help you figure out things