New here

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
New here
3
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 12:08pm
Hello, I'm new here and would like some opinions. I'm not sure if I have an ED because I know I don't fit the "classic signs" or what I'm told is typical. I'm a married mother of 3. I'm 26 years old. I weigh 90 pounds and have only weighed over 95 when I was pregnant. I prefer not to cook, I can't stand the smell of many foods. I love to eat some foods, though when I do eat, I usually feel sick to my stomach. It's common for me to go days without eating. I'll usually eat once a day though, because my husband is home for dinner. I know I'm not heavy and I know I don't need to lose weight. I like being thin. I usually get through the days drinking coffee and pop. I'm also a smoker. I lose hair and didn't notice until my husband said something about how there's a more in the tub drain lately. I've lost all of my teeth, they rotted from the inside out. One day they were pearly white, the next they were breaking off. I now have none. I have friends, family and an old boss even pulled me aside and asked if I have an ED. I've had doctors ask, but I tell them all the same thing "I eat several small meals a day" I tell them whatever they need to hear, because it's easier. To me, several small meals is usually a few dozen cheez-itz through out the day. I think the salt makes me feel better. When I was younger, I was diagnosed with "Syncope" basically an unknown reason for fainting. I pass out often, I've fallen and have been hurt many times from this. I've had a few seizures in my life as well and test I've had were incunclusive. I'm usually dizzy, but have learned to cope and I get myself through it very well. Also, recently my sister told us she's had an eating disorder similar to what I explain about myself and she's very much the type of person who would be angry if I "took this away from her" this is her spot light, however dark that spot light might be. I told my husband I think I may have an ED, he's pretty good at dismissing things that aren't happy news though. Anyway, that's the basics of my humiliating story. Any thoughts would be great. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: magicalmystery3
Thu, 11-02-2006 - 2:02pm
Hi there, magicalmystery3, and welcome to the ed board!

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2006
In reply to: magicalmystery3
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 9:04am
I'm told the reason for my teeth was malnutrition, then was told it's hereditary, depends which dentist or doctor I see. The thing is, I had gorgeous teeth and it hit very sudden. I went from all my teeth to only 4 in a matter of months, and was told the 4 wouldn't last more then 2 years even though they were mostly made of fillings. Sure enough, they lasted about a year. You can't tell to look at me that I don't have any, of course ... the humiliating part is being 26 and not having them. And the more thought I put into it, the more I realize it's my own fault. I've lived without them and the idea of not having them for a long time (about 5 years now), but when the last 4 were pulled, that kind of made it real. Why wouldn't someone smack me upside the head and say "Do you see what your doing to yourself?" I don't blame them, I take full responsibilty for my actions. I just wonder why. My only worry is if this is my problem, how far will it go? I'm OK with not eating, it doesn't bother me. I'm OK with being thin, aside from the lack of boobs I once had. It's weird though, because my husband is over weight. Partially my fault, whatever I don't want to eat I give to him. I don't like to waste food and if he doesn't want it I usually convince him to eat it. My doctor, I can't remember the last time I went to a doctor. As far as family and friends go ... My mother has borderline personality disorder (so that's a big no), my sister is dealing with her own ED, most of my family doesn't speak anymore and the closest friend I have constantly talks about how she throws up all the time, but isn't balemic anymore. Maybe I'll do it in my own time, for now though, I've come to post here as I'm not sure I want to deal with it outside of the internet. I guess I'm content with the way things are, at least in the outside world. I think my big question would be, how do others get the strength to put all that work into being a completely different person? It would mean changing who I am and how I live my life. How do you get the "want" to do something like that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: magicalmystery3
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 11:54am

Try to accept that you are where you are with all this for now, take some pressure off.


You're examining your motives and feelings regarding all this right now, keep doing that but with patience and compassion for yourself.


There is some reason you are questioning yourself right now.


I do recommend that you schedule a physical with your doctor.

 

 

~Diana~