Anorexia is a form of Control? right

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Anorexia is a form of Control? right
4
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 2:38pm

If not eating is a way of controlling something in your life, how do you figure out what it is you are trying to control? And how do convince everyone else to leave you alone, and let you deal in stead of bitching at you about how small you are?

Alittle Stressed

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 3:18pm
Hi..
I am very new to this board but not new to the disorder.
I have been to a treatment center which didnt help..nor try to help you understand why you are doing this to yourself.
For me this disorder was always there through out life over weight relatives telling me not to eat something or I would be fat like them(I was always very thin) I then had my son and gained weight which freaked me out and then well the rest is history and now I just think it is just a matter of holding onto something..I have a million triggers, each time I look at food I get sick..I am bulimic and anorexic..and I dont know if I want to move on or stay the way I am.
But what I wanted to tell you was that if these peole in your life love you they will not leave you alone..they dont want to loose you to this and I hope that one day you see what they see. you may see it as bitching at you..but they are they are afraid and scared and want to help but dont know how to....
good luck to you and I hope that you find what it is that you really want to control.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 11:33pm

Yeah, I know it's incredibly frustrating and annoying when people make comments about your size. I guess if you understand why they're saying it, it makes sense but it still sucks. It's like if someone you loved was an alcoholic- you might get mad at them because you're so mad at the fact that they hurt themselves. I think the best way of dealing is to just explain how it makes you feel to have people comment on your body all the time. If you say it calmly, they'll probably feel bad about saying anything at all.

As far as knowing where it comes from, I honestly think a large part of it is genetic for those who suffer from it chronically. For some people, I think it's a life long battle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 3:31pm

I have this belief that everyone has something that they secretly want to control in their life (ie. money, food, relationships, etc). For those with ED's and other addictions, that secret need to control just gets way out of hand.

Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2006
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 1:57am

Hi. I am very new to message boards but have suffered through Anorexia and Bulemia on and off through out the past 22 years. I just celebrated 5 years of recovery. I tell you this because I understand where you are coming from. There was a time when I couldn't begin to comprehend getting better. My life and my brain are much calmer now.

I went to Therapist after therapist until I FINALLY found someone I could trust. She never once judged me. Not once. So, I never felt like I had to lie. That was, for me, finally finding the key about my control issues. I don't know where you are with your ED and the only advice I can give is, find someone who can truly help you and someone you trust.

I hope this helps even a little bit.

Diana