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| Fri, 11-10-2006 - 12:16pm |
Hi All. It's been quite a while since I posted. Looks like there are lots of relatively new people who've joined the board. Welcome!
So, I've been struggling with restricting and over-exercise for several years. In the last 6 months or so I've really been hurting and achey. This week I found out I've been exercising and running, for about six months, with at least one broken bone in my foot. Now I am in a cast and won't be exercising for quite a while. I have so many emotions associated with this, but I think the biggest shocker is that I could continue to run through the pain, and this actually made things worse.
While no one on my treatment team has forced me to change my ways, they've all along suggested that I take it easy on myself, don't push myself quite as hard, and make sure to take care of myself. I almost always dismissed the comments and felt that I was doing a good job taking care of myself. Now I am beginning to realize how much the ED can alter our perceptions and cloud judgement. Being laid up for the next 6 weeks (minimum) is going to force me to start listening to my body - and what's even more difficult is that I can't run away from the things that are surfacing, my feelings, and my memories.
Make sure to take it easy on yourself. I am beginning to realize that there are consequences for our actions - whether it be restricting, over-exercising, binging, or purging. Be kind to yourself and gentle hugs to you all.
Love,
so_cal_runner

Wow I am a restrive dieter and excessive runner myself. I have been formally diagnosed with eating disorder specific because I carry traits/characteristics of both extremes anorexia and bulimia. It is unfortunately how much power/influence an eating disorder can have in your life. Ex[erts has said it is all about control and I believe they are right atleast in my case because as stress piles I exhibit and partake in some of the most destructive behaviors. I hope your foot feels better. Are you actively seeking treatment for your eating disorder? WEll a ton of work awaits so I will talk to you later. Please feel free to email when you need or want to talk. Thanks again for sharing.
Creativeone23
(((so_cal)))
Let the honesty through ... be gentle, so
~Diana~
Hi so_cal_runner!
Don't be so hard on yourself (literally and figuratively). Every now and then we need a little jolt of reality for us to see the whole picture. I got into a car accident and got whip lash. After a month
Thanks Diana, and congrats on quitting smoking! I am trying to take it easy, both mentally and physcially, but the "mentally" stuff is hard. As more and more memories from my past keep surfacing, it's forcing me to find new ways to deal with what's surfacing other than going running. Today is only Day 2 of not exercising, so in my mind it still seems like a reasonable amount of time to take a break. However, as time goes on it's going to get harder and harder. I am still in shock about this because it came out of the blue, which leads to how I found out it was broken.
I've been having pain in the ball of my foot and in my toes for about 2 months, so I went to a podiatrist. He did an x-ray to rule out stress fractures in the ball of the foot and also fit me for special running orthodics. So, mid orthodics fitting the x-rays showed that in fact I did have a fracture, but it was in a different part of my foot. He said that it had been fractured "for a long time" and it wasn't healing. So, I went in thinking I was picking up orthodics that would take the pain away while I ran only to leave with a cast on my foot and instructions that I not exercise AT ALL for at least 6 weeks. I tried to bargin with the doctor about exercise, but he sat me down, looked me firmly in the eye and said, "Your foot is BROKEN. It won't heal if you don't take a break." That's the basic gist of the story. Amazing how stubborn I am!
Thanks Catherine. I'm glad to hear that you were able to successfully work through the anxiety and panic of not working out with your injury. I hope you are feeling better now. Logically I know that this rest is going to be a good thing for me and that I will be stronger (physically and mentally) from it. I'm just nervous about gaining weight. I was injured before and gained lots of weight - I am scared of history repeating itself.
The fracture is a full fracture, but the bone isn't displaced. Something feel on my foot several months ago and running made the fracture worse. There may also be a stress fracture in another area of my foot - I'm having more tests done tonight and will know early next week. In the meantime, we're proceeding as though there is probably another fracture.
Thanks again for the encouragement. Good to *meet* you!
so_cal_runner