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| Sat, 12-02-2006 - 8:46am |
Hi,
It's been quite a while since I've posted here, but I read daily. I've been going through a lot personally other than the ED problems. There has been a positive side: I've put on some weight. I don't really see it as a positive, but boy is my tdoc happy! I've gained about 7lbs in the past two months which puts me back "on the charts" for my height (I am no longer underweight). This has caused a small weight check problem on my part as I am fearful of gaining any more weight. I find myself wanting to go to the gym and work out more but I am keeping myself busy with other things to stop myself from doing that. My mind says "lose the weight you gained" but I know I shouldn't. I look healthier, no one has commented about me looking too skinny lately, which I know is good. Now I just need to get my brain to accept it. I guess that's what makes this an ED. It's just one more battle I have to fight.
Thanks for listening,
Peg

The more you concentrate on meaningful things in life, the more reward you will get that way, the more confidence in self, makes you stronger to face the issues in your way.
The unhealthy voices can become just as subdued as the ones for health once were.
~Diana~
PEG!
You're doing a great job by recoginizing the fact that a piece of you is trying to resort back to your previous behaviors. Because it means that another part of you can differentiate being healthy and falling into the traps of your ED. It's a huge step to realize that you can basically "talk back" to the ED voices. Stay positive. Good luck!
Hi Peg.
I know exactly how you feel. That is right where I am right now. I have also gained about 7lbs but in a month so it's even harder for me to accept than if it had been two. Not to say that you weight gain is any easier than mine. I know any amount of weight over any time is hard for us to deal with. I don't know about you, but when I found out I gained that I was actually okay with that, but it put me on my guard, you know, like if I gain one more ounce I'm going back to the farthest extreme.
"I just have to get my brain to accept it" Ya that's the hardest part. I am a trained in counselling and psychology and have read ALOT on eating disorders so I know what is healthy and what's the eating disorder talking but the eating disorder voice (aka "Ed") is often stronger and even though I intellectually know better my heart is still married to ed. (Sorry reading "life without ed" right now and that's the way she writes lol.
As they say in AA bring the body and the mind will follow. In other words, keep telling yourself what you know to be the intellectual truth and eventually you will believe it.
Hi Peg,
It takes a lot of strength to do what you are doing.
~Diana~