bulemic and miserable
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bulemic and miserable
| Tue, 12-05-2006 - 9:17pm |
Hi...I was told that this message board might be helpful. I've been bulemic for 8 years and I really need help. It started in university and I'm now 27 and a mother and I really want to stop. I'm a compulsive overeater. I binge and purge several times a day. I don't enjoy food at all anymore. I just try to eat it as fast as possible. I barely even chew. I'll eat everything in sight until my stomach is so distended that I look 6 months pregnant, then purge...all the while feeling completely disgusted and ashamed of myself. I told my fiancee...he's the only one who knows. I was hoping that he would be a support to me, but he seems to be pretending that nothing is happening (when I go to the bathroom and run water in the tub after every meal he knows what I'm doing, but he doesn't call me on it). I'm so embarassed to have this problem. I feel so weak and miserable. I am so afraid that I'll pass these issues on to my daughter if I don't get help.

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Hi Angel,
You realize something is wrong and that is so important. :)
Is any help available through your university? There are clinics and counselors that work with eating disorders, some even on a sliding scale fee.
~Hugs!~
Hi there,
Our loved ones are really the worst ones to try to help us, as far as doing the behaviors is concerned.
For them to be there for us as we uncover issues that are upsetting and make us feel vulnerable as we work on them ... this is more along the lines of how they can help.
We do have to learn to be self accountable.
I'd get a therapist and fast, one who you can be accountable to, but who is trained to help you deal with your issues.
~Diana~
I agree with Diana that sometimes the people closest to you are sometimes not the most helpful. They can feel like they are helpless because they - themselves do not know how to deal with the situation and/or don't completely understand the position you currently find yourself in. Seeing a therapist or going to a support group (like an Overeaters Anonymous meeting) can provide you the support you need to help you find the inner strength to fight your ED. The therapist and support group know the steps to a successful recovery.
The fact that you recognize that you have an issue you want to resolve
The reason that our loved ones are not the best help regarding the behaviors is that it is out of their realm of understanding, & that part needs to be left to professionals.
~Diana~
Welcome agelalily.
You have come to the right place. It is good that you have told someone. That is the first step in getting help. Reaching out to this group is the second. You are on your way! I know this may be hard to hear but don't expect your fiancee to understand (I read "those who don't have it don't understand it, those who do can't explain it"). Also he is not there to call you on it every time you purge. If you think that would be helpful then suggest it, but he won't know unless you do. On the other hand you could just tell him you purged and have that way to be accountable. I read one book that was for friends and family of those with eating disorders and it said that those around you shouldn't be made accountable for your behaviour and that it can trigger even more of the behaviour in defensiveness. If you feel that wouldn't happen then by all means have your fiancee hold you accountable. Maybe you can sit and talk about anything but food until the urge to purge passes. Ultimately you have to provide your fiancee with more information about eating disorders for one thing and two not expect him to "get it". Then you could find a counsellor together to help both you deal with how it affects your relationship. Also I'd like to add, if you've been with your current therapist for so long do you feel that you are making progress you should be seeing in that time? I'm not saying that eating disorder recovery is quick. It's not. They say the average recovery time is 7 years! I don't mean to berate your tdoc but it sounds to me that you are not seeing the results you would like to. That may be a failure of therapy or just higher expectations than can be achieved in that time. Don't be hard on yourself. We all have setbacks and slow recoveries but keep with it.
I hope something I said helped.
I'm glad somebody here was able to help, angela, there are several great women with experience
~Diana~
How are you doing today, Angelalily?
~Diana~
Angela
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