A long road to full recovery

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
A long road to full recovery
4
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 11:51am
I have been working so hard on keeping my ed under controll its so hard. I have been free of anorexia and buliuma for almost 2 years.I go through periods in my life where it seems like the only thing that i can controll in my life is food so thats what i choose to control. that is not a safe choice. But lately i have been noticing that when i gat a lot of anxiety i want to cloud over all my emotions and eat-anything that is just laying around. even if it is gross. it is like i am trying to satisfy a craving that cannot be fullfilled. It is so hard. i keep a journal and by writing out my thoughts i can usually figure out the trigger, but sometimes it is just so hard to stop the food. and when im home alone or working(im a nanny) and i get bored what do i want to do EAT! for no reason. my therapist helps a lot only she is out of the office for christmas break . i guess i am just looking for some reassurment that i will be fine it just takes will power and prayer. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Thu, 12-21-2006 - 1:17pm

Welcome to the board! I hope that you keep checking in anytime; especially time when you need a shoulder to lean on. This is a very supportive board. You are not alone in your recovery! Recovery is a life long process. Some days are easier than others. Just remember that life in general is not easy or perfect.


When you have feelings of anxiety and need to resort back to your ED behavior, take a deep breath. I like to tell myself, "This too shall past" or "You can do this." Is there someone in your life that you can call (when your therapist is unavailable)? Maybe they can get you to refocus your thoughts.


You know you are able to live your life without your ED and you know how it feels to be free of it. Write those moments in your journal too! When you are having down moments, read those entries. It can remind you that you will make it through.


You have the tools and strength to continue your recovery. Sometimes, you just need to remind yourself. Take care. And good luck!


Catherine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Fri, 12-22-2006 - 9:48am
The holidays are hard for those of us fighting eds. And that's what it is EVERY DAY: a fight. But you know what? You can win this fight! You already have it in you by just admitting you need help and seeking it through therapy and on your own. You are not alone in this. There's so many of us working hard to be healthy and overcome and we all slip up and get mad at ourselves, but it's okay. Don't give up. It's not easy and it's SO tiring, but I KNOW it's doable. I always suggest meditation and just deep breathing when I feel like I am losing it. Think of the child you once were and that you would never wish harm on her. Sometimes I'll look at a picture of myself as a young girl and remind myself that I still have to nurture and love that little girl. She is ME. I owe it to her to live the life I always dreamed about but taking care of my body and living life to the fullest. Eds keep us from living. They make us see the end, ugliness, and all the things we hate about ourselves. But you know you're awesome, beautiful and intelligent and you DESERVE to be happy and healthy. Don't hurt yourself anymore.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 11:19am

You got it right. It is a long road to full recovery. My ed too has taken on many forms from anorexia to bulimia to binge eating disorder and now I'm ED-NOS. I too have those times when I am board or stressed that I eat. The only thing I can say is do something nice for yourself instead, paint your nails, do something you like to do, take a walk.


Good luck.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 3:52pm

I always suggest meditation and just deep breathing when I feel like I am losing it. Think of the child you once were and that you would never wish harm on her. Sometimes I'll look at a picture of myself as a young girl and remind myself that I still have to nurture and love that little girl. She is ME. I owe it to her to live the life I always dreamed about but taking care of my body and living life to the fullest. Eds keep us from living. They make us see the end, ugliness, and all the things we hate about ourselves.


Lilly, you said this so beautifully.

 

 

~Diana~