Home for the holidays
Find a Conversation
Home for the holidays
| Sat, 12-23-2006 - 10:53am |
Hi everyone.
Tonight my brother arrives in my city and we're driving together to my parents house for the Christmas holiday. We'll be there tonight through early Wednesday morning.
I am terrified. I tend to go on HORRIBLE binges at my parent's house and spend a lot of time in the bathroom purging. My parents are aware of my ed and are VERY supportive. I have already talked to them about watching me... not being alone in the kitchen, saying something to me when I am doing ed behaviors, watching me to see if I dissapear into the bathroom... all that stuff. I have said that being there, for whatever reason, has been a trigger in the past. I have only been home one other time since I began treatment this past fall and I was BAD. I am so scared that I will binge. I am going to try my hardest not to. I am going to try to stick to an eating plan, take walks and never eat when I am not in front of someone else- not even a glass of water, never be alone in the kitchen, I am bringing affirmations along, my iPod to listen to when I get that anxiety before a binge, stuff to give myself a maniciure (keep my hands busy) and I have my best friend and boyfriend on alert for my freak out phone call. I am also going to check in here everyday and email my therapist. I have a lot of grouding methods and I hope to do some yoga and meditation too. SO I have a plan, but you guys know eds... they don't care if you have every second of every day planned, they will take over. So I might be posting a lot this weekend.
It sucks because I LOVE Christmas and being with my family. I am just going to rememeber that I am there for them, not the TONS of amazing homemade mom food. I am going to allow myself to eat, but I have to remember I am in control and I have to put the breaks on before I have eaten everything I can put my hands on. I have to stop and say "I am satisfied and full, and this food will all be here later if I am hungry."
Okay, that's all. I am already feeling nervous and anxious, so I wanted to check in.
Thanks guys.
Tonight my brother arrives in my city and we're driving together to my parents house for the Christmas holiday. We'll be there tonight through early Wednesday morning.
I am terrified. I tend to go on HORRIBLE binges at my parent's house and spend a lot of time in the bathroom purging. My parents are aware of my ed and are VERY supportive. I have already talked to them about watching me... not being alone in the kitchen, saying something to me when I am doing ed behaviors, watching me to see if I dissapear into the bathroom... all that stuff. I have said that being there, for whatever reason, has been a trigger in the past. I have only been home one other time since I began treatment this past fall and I was BAD. I am so scared that I will binge. I am going to try my hardest not to. I am going to try to stick to an eating plan, take walks and never eat when I am not in front of someone else- not even a glass of water, never be alone in the kitchen, I am bringing affirmations along, my iPod to listen to when I get that anxiety before a binge, stuff to give myself a maniciure (keep my hands busy) and I have my best friend and boyfriend on alert for my freak out phone call. I am also going to check in here everyday and email my therapist. I have a lot of grouding methods and I hope to do some yoga and meditation too. SO I have a plan, but you guys know eds... they don't care if you have every second of every day planned, they will take over. So I might be posting a lot this weekend.
It sucks because I LOVE Christmas and being with my family. I am just going to rememeber that I am there for them, not the TONS of amazing homemade mom food. I am going to allow myself to eat, but I have to remember I am in control and I have to put the breaks on before I have eaten everything I can put my hands on. I have to stop and say "I am satisfied and full, and this food will all be here later if I am hungry."
Okay, that's all. I am already feeling nervous and anxious, so I wanted to check in.
Thanks guys.

Thank you for honesty about you anxiety over the holiday. PLEASE, take time to enjoy the holiday, family, friends, etc. I know that you read the affirmations, when you get a moment where you feel like you'll binge - try to take them our or check the board. Hopefully, it will redirect the thinking.
Take care of yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Above all, enjoy the holiday!
Good luck!
Catherine
I know that your last time there was bad, but that doesn't mean that time has to be. Aside from your parents watching you, you need to watch yourself. It is your ED and your responsibility.
Do you have the same urge to binge and purge at home? You can practice catching yourself when those thoughts come up and leave the sitatuation, take a walk, do something different.
Good luck.
I just realized this message probably comes too late. So, how did it go?