I've lost control again and need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
I've lost control again and need help
5
Sat, 12-30-2006 - 8:20pm
After my first semester of college, I thought I had control of my ED. I lost 20 pounds, felt great, happy, and in control. In the past, I’ve struggled with bulimia (after I binged I would purge; I didn’t throw up often but would try fasting and excessive exercise). Although I remained at an average weight, I was very unhappy. I’ve been home from college for three weeks now and completely lost control again. I can’t stop eating. My new pants no longer fit and I feel awful; I’ve honestly put on 15 pounds. I don’t return to college for a week. Anyone have any ideas of what I can do to stop this cycle and get back on track? Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 12:44pm

Holidays are always so tricky for everyone but especially for those with an ED. You need to forgive yourself - what's in the past is in the past. You can't change it but you have a chance at this very moment to do something good for yourself. Sometimes when you are recovering there are times when you can't live day-to-day or even hour-to-hour. There are moments when you're going to have take it moment-by-moment. Don't focus on what you've done wrong, what you don't fit, and how much you gained. Try to look at what you have accomplished. Think about the positive things that has happened. This gives you more confidence in yourself to get and keep yourself on track. If you keep looking at the negative, it only feeds into you ED.


A lot of recovery/treatment plans differ from person to person but think back at what helped you get into that healthy mindset. When I would feel my ED coming in strong, I would try to sit and listen to music. It would calm me down and made me focus on something else other than restricting. Journaling, meditating, reading, etc at moments when you need help sometimes works as well.


Hope that helps!


Catherine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 2:55pm

Hello there weightedown and welcome to the ed board!


Guess what, the exact same thing happened to me when I came home from my first semester at college.


When I was away, I discovered a whole new world, where I fit in and had always wanted to be.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 3:32pm
Hi Diana! Yes, my story is so similar to yours. I love it at college. I too thrive there. And like you, coming home caused me to relapse into the ED I hated. I hate the weight I’ve gained since I’ve been here and can’t stand not being in control. At the same time, I dearly love my family and love spending time with them. I have learned to be alright at school, and now I need to further lean how to do the same at home and continue to heal. In the meantime, I’m upset with the weight I’ve gained, but I have to move on. Thanks for replaying. It’s good to hear that someone else went through the same thing I am going through. Take care!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Sun, 12-31-2006 - 3:34pm
Hi Catherine! Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate your good advice and support. Positive thinking is definitely something I should do. Take care!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Mon, 01-01-2007 - 4:02pm

I'm glad you could identify with me.

 

 

~Diana~