Trying My Hardest

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2007
Trying My Hardest
2
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 10:54am

Hi, I'm new to the boards. I'm Alison, and i'm a seveteen year old highschool student. I have been battiling anorexia since I was about 14. I was very young and impressionable and the first boyfriend I chose was an extremely abusive one. He constantly was informing me that I was not good enough or pretty enough or thin enough and I was not even overweight. I resricted and dropped to under a hundred pounds and hung there for 2 and a half years but I finally left the boyfriend and met someone supportive. With this person's help I have returned to a healthy 120 for my 5'5 frame, and I can eat "normally" IE: not just eating 'safe' foods. I have done this all by myself and with the support of my boyfriend because my mother has a mild eating disorder also so she never saw anything wrong with my behaviors so i never received counseling.
I need some advice and support on problems i'm encountering. Sometimes i'll look at myself and panic and want desperatey to revert back to the old habits. Sometimes i'll lose it and binge and purge(unsuccessfuly) and it's only happened a few times, but is this going to happen often? I try my best to vary the foods I eat and I excercise in a healthy manner...not obsessively. I still think about the food i'm consuming though and stress about it and my body. Some days I love the way I look other days I can't stand it. I think I'm making leaps and bounds, but i'm still somewhat selective about my food choices. I have always been a very healthy eater, fruits, grains, organic products but Im not a hundred percent sure where my healhiness ends and my disorder begins and I want to differentiate between that fine line so i can get better.
Are all these behaviors a normal part of recovery, and will I ever be a hundred percent better again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 12:12pm

Hi there Alison, and welcome to the ed board.


You are bringing up some very important stuff.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 4:23pm

Hello Allison! Welcome to the board!


Diana brings up some great points. Sometimes the appearance or reoccurrance of an eating disorder is a result of some kind stress in your life. Definately take a moment to look around and see what's going on. You may be able to see a pattern in your behaviors and thoughts.


Recovery from an ED does involve a lot of what Diana says, "Personal Power". To

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