recovering anorexics?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
recovering anorexics?
10
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 8:17pm
Hey! I'm Alex and I'm 15. I've had anorexia for about a year and I'm in recovery for it. I would love for someone to talk to that knows what I'm going through because no one else does. I'm being black mailed to eat by my doctors. They told me if I go back and I havn't gained any weight then I have to go to the hospital. I'm not scary skinny. I'm 5'7' 113 pounds but I lost so much weight. I used to weigh 150 pounds. And I wasn't fat I was just very curvey. One reason I lost weight was because I was mad cause I never went through that little stange that you go through when your born till about when your 13. I was ALWAYS curvey. I haven't had my period in 6 monthes, my hair is falling out, I'm cold all the time, my hands and feet are purple, and I'm always tired. I'm eating but I still have all the side effects of anorexica. It STINKS! I still black out and everything. I eat (or attempt to eat) 2000 calories a day. I would love to hear some of your stories! And if you are already reovered; did you gain ALL of your weight back? Because that is one of my worst fears.
Avatar for finian
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 8:24am
Hey hugss. I remember dealing with doctors not understanding, both for my anorexia & bipolar. It can be especially hard at your age. I was about 80lbs at 4'11" when I was 15.
I'm not sure I'd ever use the word "recovered" though. It's been a struggle for me, dealing with my weight.
I relate to always being curvy. That was me as well.
You might want to try asking your guidance counsler (assuming you're in high school) if there are any support groups for anorexics, or even anorexic teens, in your area. Online support is good, but sometimes in person support is even better.

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to an

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 8:31am
So you never fully recovered?
Avatar for finian
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 8:48am
Like I said, I don't think there's such a thing as "recovered". I have good days and I have bad days. Just a few days ago, I posted here "Why can't I just be normal?" To me, food is still about emotion, control, comfort. I have to be careful about my eating, not let myself "forget" to eat. I believe it is possible to get to a point where one eats more or less healthfully and doesn't spend so much time thinking about eating. I just haven't reached that point myself and I'm not sure I ever will. But then, I'm not *just* anorexic. My anorexia is part and parcel of my bipolar. Depending on my moods, I might feel worse about the idea of eating.
Also it depends on what you consider recovered. I got my body fat tested a few days ago. 29.9 . In the moderate to overweight range. For someone who was once at 8 body fat, 29.9 would seem better. I think there's so much more than the body fat to consider tho.

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to an

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 12:17pm

Hi there alex, welcome!


Doctors usually want to concentrate on the weight gain, because of the symptoms you are experiencing, and your list is long.


One thing that is affected is brain function.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 3:52pm

Hi Alex..
I'm Jenny. I am 16 and I am a recovered Anorexic. Well, I say recovered, I've had a long stay in a general hospital, a open adolescent unit, a secure adolescent unit, and an eating disorder unit, and I've come out on top.. but some days I still do struggle. But now its mainly OCD at the moment I'm finding hard.
I completly sympathise with you about your eating disorder.. Anorexia is hard, as you know. You say that you are worried about the weight gain that is involved in treatment and recovery.. although you are having bad experiences with your Doctors.. they will NOT make you fat, or go above a healthy weight for your height. From my experience, they base it on your periods, once you have your periods your body is saying this is a healthy weight for me. (Which you will be slim and toned and healthy, but not too thin.) The Doctors are not aloud to make you go over your 'healthy weight'. This is seen as abuse.. or neglection.. one or the other! I gained about 2st 3lbs in hospital, and I was nowhere near fat at all after I'd gained that weight, but when they took me off section I left before my periods started back again, but after a few months eating healthily and normally they returned. What I can say (as you know) carry on trying hon.. keep on eating around 2000 calories a day.. ( I know its difficult) but staying out of hospital has to be your main priority at the moment. Do you have a physchiatrist? If not, ask your Doctors if there is anywhere you can be referred to keep and eye on your mental health and well as your physical health. I know what you mean about blackouts when you stand up.. I used to get them all the time and they are coming back as I've lost a little weight recently and I'm exercising loads and obviously not eating properly. My phychiatrist ( my lifeline! My saviour!) has referred me back to my doctors tommorow for a check up about it... Meh.
Anyway I hope my post has maybe been at least a little beneficial. Sorry it was so long winded and that, its my first message on here! Anyways I hope you are feeling okay and stuff. You can do it chick!

x Jenny x

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 8:06pm

Hey Jenny!

I'm scared that my period weight will be to high for me. I'm comfortable with the weight I am now. I would be a little ok with gaining maybe 5 pounds. But how about if my period weight is 10 pounds more! When did your doctors let you start exercising?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 9:57am

Hey hon..

Well at the ED unit we had prescribed exercise, depending on recovery and weight gain.. I think I got 10 minutes walking after a month or so, about 8 months into my stay I had earned 50 minutes, including rec.. basketball, football etc. It was carefully monitored. When I left I was on unlimited, where basically were given control of how much you wanted to do. I think it was about 2 months after I left that my consultant (at local clinic) agreed to put me on a gym programme. So yeah.. about 2 months of healthy weight maintenence. I had EXACTLY the same worry as you.. what if my periods will only come back when I'm higher than a healthy weight?. What you need to ask for is an ovarian scan.. with that they will be able to tell you how big your ovaries are now and how much weight you will have to gain till your ovaries are normal sized and you will have periods again. I had two and on the second one they said a couple of pounds, but I left hospital and roughly maintained for a while and my periods returned. So ask your Doctor if one of these scans are possible. You may have to wait a while for one if you get one though. Tell me how you get on. (If you want). My thoughts are with you, I have had exactly the same experience.
Much Love. x Jenny x

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2007
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 10:30pm

Dear Alex,

I am very worried that you might be in worse condition than you think. Your doctors have your best interest in mind even though it might sound like they are going against you or even bribing you. If you haven't had your period in 6 months, you hair is falling out, you're cold all the time, your hands and feet are purple, and you're always tired you really need to think about what your body is telling you, nevermind the doctors. There are so many other long term effects that you probably aren't even aware of. For example, you can end up with servere bone loss (osteoporosis) that may or maynot be irreversible. If you brought yourself to a healthy weight with the help of doctors(there are plenty of websites to find out what your healthy weight is), therapists and even your school counselor and phys. ed teacher, you could begin to exercise with weights to increase your weight without putting on any body fat. That is certainly something to look forward to. I would hate to hear that you are becoming so physically sick that you continue to black out. My thoughts are with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 9:41am
hello my name is jenny I am now 26,I had an ed when I was 16,i weight a total of 75 ibs,I hid it very well,nodoby know I was sick,it started for me when both my parents worked two jobs each ,and I was alone alot,and I had a hard time controling that lonely feeling,I felt like I was going crazy inside,I started feeling relief eating and them making myself sick,I felt like I COULD control this part of my life and I lie that very much,and there were months at a time i would eat NOTHINNG AT ALL,i was so cold and sick looking but, still nobody notice me dieing in front of them,I remember throwing up blood alot but, I couldn't stop hurting myself ,that voice wouldn't do away,it was stronger than i was at the time,I started getting very pale and I weight myself every few mintures( no joke)my weight was my victory ,I needed my "ed" to cope( or atleast thats what I thought)My lowest was 75 IBS, I told my beat friend waht I was doing he said he would tell my parents I was hurting myself ,so I started eating crackers at school so people would like I was ok,I remember oneday at a hospial( we were vising somebody) i told my mom I needing help,I told her its been months since I eat,and Ii wanted to stop,it was along time until I got better again. I am now a mother of 4 children I weight 113,and eat like I should,That voice still trys to brother me from time to time, BUT I AM STRONGER THAT IS IS NOW,I BELIVE I HAVE WOM MY FIGHT,DON'T LET IT BEAT YOU, YOU CAN WIN. LIFE IS BETTER THAN DEATH,JESUS IS THE ANSWER.

katelyn-98

randy-00

hannah-04

jaco

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Wed, 02-21-2007 - 7:53pm
hey. i have not experience anorexia myself but ive had a couple of friends who have dealt with it. i think its really great that youre trying to hard to recover, what youre going thru sounds awful. keep up the good work and remember, beauty on the inside is what really counts!