Bad days
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 02-22-2007 - 9:00pm |
discussion title: How can I help my daughter?emoticon: message #: 13940.1 from: juli13ivillage date: Oct-15 10:18 amreplies: 6
My daughter has lost over 20 pounds in the past two months. I recently found out that she's been eating about 500 calories per day, and I did already know that she exercises twice a day. She hit "rock bottom" when she didn't even have the strength to stand, and then she told me everything. She has also not had a period for three months. She really wants to change, but she's scared if she eats much, she'll gain the weight back. How can I help her? I feel that I need to do SOMETHING, but I want it to be the right thing. To those of you who have been there, or are struggling right now, what could someone do that would be the most help? I am just so worried and scared.
That's what my Mom posted about me a long time ago. Unfortunately I've lost 15 more pounds since this post. I'm so discouraged right now. I don't want to eat. I feel fat and worthless. Do any of yall have any advice for me for eating. I feel like I'm going to restrict again and I really can't because if I don't gain a pound when I go back to the doctor I'm in the hospital for sure. Do yall have any motivations to eat? What do yall do on those bad days?
~Alex~

Hi Alex,
OKay here is my two cents. First of all, recognize that anorexia is a coping mechansim we use when things get rough and we are stressed. But... it is a poor coping mechanism and it doesn't work. Eating is not related to what else goes on in your life. I repeat, eating is not in any way, shape, or form, related to anything that is going wromg in your life and restricting won't fix what is wrong. I know how it feels - when things go wrong, the quick fix of relief in not eating seems so easy, but look again - the problems are still there and are now compounded by ill health. Anorexia is a disorder of lies, so don't buy into them. What you think you control (not eating) actually controls you, so, kick your ED in the butt, show it who is boss, and do what you have to do. Bite the bullet and eat the way you are supposed to. Follow your food plan and defy the anorexia. Be the grownup and tell it to go away. You can do this and you will be better for it. Failure is not black and white - that is another of anorexia's lies. Experiences lie on a continuum, and we learn from all of them. There is no failure, just what we learn that can be applied to each additional experience. Everything happens for a reason. WE may not fully understand why, but everything is as it should be. Take control of your life - you do it, not your eating disorder. Define yourself by all your other wonderful qualities. Life is such a gift, and you are a gift to your family. Don't waste it by letting anorexia tell you what to do or not do. You can do this, you are stronger than you think. Don't take the easy way out - beat this thing!!
Hugs,
Ilse
Ilse is so on the mark, more than I could ever be.
~Diana~