Why? (triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Why? (triggers)
9
Sun, 03-04-2007 - 8:53pm
I know right now that I have to eat a lot to not loose anymore weight but when is all my weight going to start coming back on? almost everyone that has gone on a diet gains all the weigth they lost. I stopped eating for 6 monthes! Now that I am eating about 1600-2000 calories a day won't all the weight that I lost come back on? Will I weigh 160 pounds in a year if I keep eating normally? I'm just waiting for the weight to start piling back on but it's not and it doesn't make any since! I mean, since a started eating over about 2000 calories a day I've actually lost 6 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!! People say how hard it is to maintain their weight but I have to eat a ton just to stop losing!!! Why is it hard for other people to maintain the weight they lost but not me?
~Alex~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: alex_289
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 7:54pm

Hi Alex!


Wow, you sound really frustrated!

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
In reply to: alex_289
Tue, 03-06-2007 - 9:08pm
I see my doctor this Thursday! I hate my doctor. She told me that if I lost anymore weight when I went back then I have to go into the hospital and having a feeding tube up my nose! I've been eating everything they told me to! I can't help what my body does! Why do I have to be punished for it? I've gotten so much better since I've started recovery. I'm lessed obsessed about calories and I'm started to care about other things in life other than weight and food. I'm still very concious of what goes in me. Everything I eat is extremely healthy but I think that's a good thing. I have some bad days but I make sure that I'm getting enough calories. I think I'm doing really good. But the doctors aren't satisfied until I gain weight. I'm eating all I can! The thing is though that now I like eating! I'm scared that this is only a phase and soon I won't be able to eat without gaining weight. I just got used to eating so that would stink. The most weight I'm willing to gain is 5 pounds and that's pushing it. I like my size. I'm not really underweight. Just a little. I really don't think I need to go into the hospital.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: alex_289
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 11:30pm

How are you doing??????


Just getting back to you now ... wondering how it's been since you last posted.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
In reply to: alex_289
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 10:31am
Hi, I'm new to this board but I just feel so bad for you I had to try and say something, I hope it comes out right! I fought anorexia for 11 years, I know how hard and frustrating it is. And I know how hard it is to put weight back on depending what you weigh now, and how long you've not been eating. Like for me, I starved myself for a LONG time, I was at the borderline hospitalization stage too. But for me, I'm not sure if its the same for you but it might be. Is that I went without eating for so long, my body of course went to my "reserves" of fat in my body just so I could live. I wasn't putting anything into it, so it went to my reserves to keep me alive. It took a long time for me to put weight on, because my body had gone through my reserves for so long, that it took a long time of eating a TON to replace my reserves before I could even start putting actual weight on. You're body needs to replace internally what it took from itself before you can even begin to put weight on. It has to do a lot of inside fixing before it can really start fixing itself. But I have to say, if you're doctors are talking about maybe putting you into the hospital if you cant gain some weight soon, it sounds to me like you probably need to gain more then 5lbs to be healthy. I know that sounds really harsh, and I'm sorry for that. But I once thought at most I needed to gain like 3-4lbs and I'd be cool...really, I had to gain a lot more then that. I know its really frustrating trying to put the weight back on, but try your best to not stress about it. Stressing about it will make it harder to put the weight on. I know you can do it, but you gotta trust your doctors (no matter how evil they sometiems seem!), and you have to remember that your body has a lot of internal fixing to do before it can really fix itself. Its kind of like a really messy, unorganzied room...you have to make an even bigger mess to actually clean and organize stuff! Your body is probably just working overtime, taking all the calories your eating, and putting them back into your reserves before it actually put some weight on. I know its really hard hun, but you can do it!!! Just keep up the eating, and enjoying food again (that's awesome!!) and you'll get there. I hope this helps some. I'll be praying for you!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: alex_289
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 10:38am

Awesome reply, always best from someone who's been there.


I hope she sees it!


Thank you!


 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
In reply to: alex_289
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 5:07pm
I gained 2 pounds when I went to the doctor. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I hate that I gained weight but at least I'm not in the hospital! The good news is I only have to gain 3 more pounds and then I'm done gaining forever! I thought they were going to make me weigh 130 because that is the ideal weight for a peron who is 5'6. I'm like in between 5'6 and 5'7. But the doctors are going to let me stay at 120! I almost cried I was so happy when they told me. The only thing is, if my period doesn't come back at 120 then I'll have to gain more. =( I don't think ( actually I know) that I will not be able to go over 120. So please pray that my period will come back! When they told me I had gained 2 pounds I felt so fat. I'm not used to them telling me I've gained because they always tell me that I have lost! I was really depressed but now I'm doing better. And if I go back up their and I have gained 1 or 2 pounds then I get to start walking a couple or miles 4 times a week! Yay! Exercise! I love exercise. I'm not a big fan of walking but I love running. I used to be a runner. My dream is to run a marathon. I can't wait to have musclar legs again! And muscular arms! When I get to start lifting weights a little. Please pray for me!
~Alex~
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
In reply to: alex_289
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 6:30pm
Oh that's so great, just 3 more pounds to go, that's awesome!!! I know its really depressing when you see the numbers going up on the scale, you really have to fight that initial internal panic! What helped me fight that though, was every time I started to feel panicked or depressed, I would think about all the things I was going to get to do again. Like you had mentioned being a runner, every pound gets you closer to that!!! For me, every pound gained was one step closer to being able to do things with my daughter. Whenever you feel that moment of panic or depression coming, write down all the things you miss doing...running, exercising, whatever it may be. Make your list of what you miss, and you'll see that those 2 pounds you just gained is totally worth it! And you only have 3 more pounds to go!!! You'll be surprised how good you'll feel when you get to your goal weight, you really will. Its hard in that, of course, you've gained weight, but its also like a HUGE weight is off your shoulders. I'm really proud at how good you're doing!!! I know its hard, I've been there, but you're doing good. And personally, I think 120 is a great weight, it happens to be mine ; ) And I'm sure it will look just awesome on you, and with it it will bring a lot of new found freedom! You're doing really great, and before you know it you'll again be doing the things you love!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
In reply to: alex_289
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 7:05pm
Dear vialamama,
Thank you for writing that to me! It means a lot! It helped me out a lot! Are you recovered or are you in recovery?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
In reply to: alex_289
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 9:17am

Alex,

Oh good, I'm so glad I could be of some help!!! I know for me, when I was going through it all it felt like I was on stage and everyone was judging me, but yet I was completely alone...and I just dont want you to feel that way to, because neither is true!

I dont know if I'm recovered, I still have a ways to go I'm sure, but I would say I'm definitely in recovery. I just had my first year of not restricting or starving myself, and for the first time in over 10 years, didn't even think about it. It was a really long hard road, still is sometimes, but finally I'm doing really good. I know how hard it is, but you're doing really really good. But as you're getting closer to your goal, its really important for you to remember to be nice to yourself! Don't make yourself feel guilty or ashamed if some of the bad thoughts creep in, because it will happen from time to time. Don't feel bad about having those thoughts sometimes, because you're still recovering!!! The best thing to do if you start feeling bad, is not to feel guilty for feeling bad, but do something to distract yourself. Go out and do something you couldn't before, write down your list of goal activities, go shopping, pamper yourself! Instead of feeling bad, reward yourself with something for having come so far and doing so good! Keep your head up hun, you've come a really long way and I know you'll keep doing awesome!!!

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