Friend fessed up-now how do I help??

Avatar for girlyone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Friend fessed up-now how do I help??
3
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 7:42pm

Well a bomb dropped from myy BEST friends mouth last night. After a few too many cocktails, and walking down memory lane with some old photos from nearly 10 years ago....she said "God I was so sick then" I laughed and said "THEN?! How about now!" and laughed she said "no really, I was anorexic!" I abotu died. I knew she had dropped like 25 pounds VERY fast but she had JUST broken up with a guy so I figured that, and all of the sudden working out we were doing was just in preparation for our upcoming trpi. We LIVED together and when she DID eat she was throwing most if not all of it up. :(

Anyway she is 29 now and JUST broke up with a guy froma bad 4 year relationship. Now get this: When she got to my house she said "I have not eaten all day damn it I am so hungry." I found that VERY odd because she has SUCH a healthy appetite...this girl is stunning-beautiful. She is typically a curvy girl maybe a size 6 or more of an 8 and just beautiful. When she was anoerix she was a size 2...TRUST me it looked werid on her-not everyone is meant to be rail thin.

Anyway I realized today that she is CONFESSING to it coming back on again. Yesterday when we DID go eat all she would have was like 2 tiny sqaures of pizza! THEN after all the drinks we had is when she told me about 10 years ago. I know in highschool she did struggle with it-I heard THAT from a mutual friend she NEVER told me. She also said it was REALLY hard to "keep up with" me! I was naturally twiggy, at the time when I was 19 I literally weighed 95 pounds and wore a size ZERO. She said it was hard to hear everyone commment on how "tiny" her best friend was and it along with other things triggered her anorexia/bulemia.

Now with this break up and being back in MN (she had mnoved away for the last 8 years) i KNOW I am right in thinking she is slipping back into it. Between what happened (the two bites of pizza) and saying that she had not eatan all day AND when we were at the bar we ALWAYS order the same deep fried Calamari....she wanted NO food ststing, "we had pizza before that is enough." All of which I found totally ODD behavior...THEN to top it off in a drunken haze she spews out having battled anorexia when we lived together!! I know I am right. I know I am and I feel responsible...I think in teh backk of her mind she threw me a rope to help her even if she dosn't know it. WHAT DO I DO??? HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2007
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 9:51pm
Just be there for her and encourage her to not slip back into old habbits. Just be careful cause she might get really mad when you try to help her. I know that I get so mad when my parents force me to eat or tell me I haven't eaten enough. Just try to nicely tell her that you'd hate to see her doing harm to her body. I'll be praying for you and her!
~Alex~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 12:21pm

Hi there and thank you for coming to the board!

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 03-08-2007 - 10:18pm

As an anorexic/bulemic person, I can say that we're always comparing ourselves to others, friends or strangers. Don't take it personally! You friend looks at you and thinks, "She's thinner than I am. I can be thinner." Go to somethingfishy.org to find out what you can do and, more importantly, what you should not say.

It's great that your friend has such a good friend. You may not see her progress, but your support will be a great help to her. Just don't think that you're responsible for her condition or that you can fix it. Just be a friend. I think you're already helping her.

~andyjac