I just dont understand myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
I just dont understand myself
1
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 9:50am

I feel like writing on this board and getting other people's insights who are struggling is helping me. I just don't understand myself. I really dont. All day yesterday my mentality was ok...you are going to go babysit (which is a huge trigger for me because I am alone a lot and can eat their food) and you will not binge and purge. You love this family. Focus on spending time with the kids and eat your dinner after they go to bed that way you are satisfied. and what do i do?

I start my dinner before the baby goes to bed and then eat the rest of my dinner while playing the board game with the other little girl. once i rush her to bed its time for me to binge! ah. and then of course I feel guilty and cant stop myself. and then i go to bed feeling depressed and suicidal.

Sorry for venting just needed to put it out there. thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 5:23pm

(((hugs)))


Dasday,


It takes a lot of courage to tell us about your evening. I'm sure it feels better to let it all out. I hope that you forgive yourself. You can't beat yourself up for something that happened in the past. Don't look back, just look forward. You can't change what you did last night but you do have the power to help make today better. Remember, forgive yourself and look foward.


I hope that things get better.

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