Stepmom of anorexic
Find a Conversation
Stepmom of anorexic
| Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:30pm |
I have never gone on these boards before so I'll just start in with my concerns. My stepdaughter has had eating issues which first were noticed when she was 14 and got down to 77 or so pounds. Part of the deal is that I don't get straight answers from my husband on her weight because he knows that I'm upset about it. We had her signed up to get treatment and her mom would not let us take her in. She was told to put on weight or she would be taken out of dance and she put on weight (still thin) and that was the end. Now, at 16, I noticed it again and after WEEKS forced my husband to weigh her or I was leaving - they had agreed her mom would do the weighing and she wouldn't so I'd finally had enough. She was about 90 pounds - again with the approximations. She was FINALLY forced to go to the doctors to get checked when her school dance team said no more until she was checked out and her mom requested that she was able to stay in until the appointment. The doctor pulled her from dance - this was in December and as soon as class started back up, she did. She was supposed to have gotten up to 105 minimum and is not even at 100 yet and it is now May. I believe she has lost weight again and her mom is not willing to stand by the "you're out of dance" thing now if she has lost again even though she got this ultimatum in December and it was stated by the doctor. I have noticed that she still does the intake of large amounts of water and stays away from any fats whenever possible. I'm guessing that she only eats in front of us since she is so tiny - size 0 or 00 HANG on her. Is there anything that I can do? This is causing a huge issue between my husband and myself and I am starting to feel resentment towards her because of it. She is a very good girl and I am at my wits end. Please help.

Thanks Pam, I just got my puter back last night, and I lost ALL my links,
~Diana~
Personally, from someone who has been down the route before, and by this I mean your step-daughters, you can't force them to do anything.
Sure, you could pull her from dance and threaten, etc. but until SHE wants to get help and admits and believes SHE has a problem, it's not going to do anything.
I eventually went through rehab and therapy for my eating disorders and the therapists told my mom the same thing, you can't force them to want it, they have to want it on their own. Luckily, there came a day when I just couldn't do it anymore.....my health was so poor, I could barely get out of bed, my hair started falling out and I was throwing up blood, to list a few examples.
Recovery was hard and even when its all over, it never really is. I still deal with urges and I still have weight and body issues that I think I will have to deal with the rest of my life.
Just make sure you are there for her. Don't be overbearing or put a lot of pressure on her. Listen when she wants to talk but don't force it. Being there for her is what is going to help her along in this process more then anything.
Welcome to the board, brokenhalo2007!
~Diana~