How do I help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
How do I help?
4
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 10:41am
So, how do I help my stepdaughter? None of her friends are this tiny so it's not brought on by that that I can tell. She doesn't have her period and she's 16 soon to be 17, but her mom said she didn't until she was 16 either. This actually makes me wonder if maybe she also had an eating disorder since she doesn't want to help her daughter get help. Does anyone have a suggestion of what helped them?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 12:45pm

Hello frustratedstep!


I know it can be quite frightening and scary to see someone in dire need of help. This is probably a dumb question, but have you talked to your husband in depth about your concerns? Your stepdaughter is lucky to have another person looking out for her well-being. If it turns out to be an eating disorder, she'll need as much support as possible.


There is another message board that may help you better. It's a message board for parents whose teens have eating disorders. Here's the link: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-prteened&nav=start&redirCnt=1#


They may have better advice for you.


HTH. Take care!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 1:00pm
Thank you. Someone else sent me there too. It's just frustrating as the step and even for my husband because there's only so much he can do as well coming from only 1 side. And, to answer your questions, we have had MANY in-depth conversations and I have talked to a friend of my sister's growing up who was/is anorexic as well about it. She has given me a lot of insight and was the reason I noticed it in the first place, just remember my sister talking about it. This friend is "recovering" and said that's a challenge she'll have her whole life, but she looks fantastic now although it was a long time coming. I reviewed that information with him as well. We've all read a book on it, but because it's not "full blown and she wasn't put in the hospital", I think it's sort of denial.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 1:36pm
One thing I can say with pretty much certainty is that trying to figure out what caused the eating disorder will only lead to feelings of frustration and guilt.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 1:46pm
Yes she has and it was on the low end, but nothing drastic, I guess. Her BMI was also low - that was when the doctor had pulled her from dance. She was allowed to start up again by her mom and we are stuck at a low weight still and I'm guessing that she has lost some again. I did talk to my husband about it this weekend (AGAIN) and he was going to try to talk to her mom and try to get something going. The hard part is that I can't understand why mom doesn't feel the need to do something, especially since she doesn't even look healthy. Her mom had decided to stop the psychiatrist because she decided it wasn't doing anything (after only 2 appointments).