Frustrated, scared, and disgusted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Frustrated, scared, and disgusted.
5
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 5:58pm
Hello everyone
I've never posted on this board, but I think it's about time. I've been a member of the Compulsive Overeating board for a little while, but within the past couple of months I've been really worried about myself, because I definitely have been bulemic. I guess I should tell you a little about myself first. A few years ago I went through a pretty short bout of anorexia/over exercising and lost about 30 pounds very quickly. I changed my habits before it got too bad, but that was definitely the first time that I noticed that I was prone to all sorts of disordered eating. I have always been incredibly active, I work out every day without fail, which is good, but also bad because I definitely over do it. I'm 5'8" and I weigh about 150 so I'm not overweight really, plus I'm very fit. At the beginning of this year I had troubles with binge eating, but always exercised enough so that it never really affected my weight too much. Recently, I have found myself slipping into the cycle of bingeing and purging even though I know it is SO bad for you. I HATE throwing up, so pretty much the only thing I binge on is icecream (all you can eat at the dining hall...) because it is easy to purge. I feel like crap and I want to stop so bad. I always thought that I would avoid bulemia by just puring very occasionally, but recently it's been almost every day. I hate it, I just want to have normal eating habits. I was wondering if you guys have any tips to help me from falling deeper into the trap because i know that I should be treating myself better than I am. This is not me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 8:59pm

Hello goatgurla411!


Welcome to the board! Thank you for your honesty with your behaviors. As you probably know, those with eating disorders (compulsive overeating, anorexia, bulimia, etc.) turn to their eating disorder behavior at stressful times. My best advice is to start a journal. Write down what has been going on in your life. Write during good days and bad days. Basically, what you are doing is keeping

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2007
Sun, 05-20-2007 - 12:14pm
Thank you for your kind words:) I do keep a journal...or, well should I say I TRY to keep a journal and it has helped me quite a bit when I do it consistently, so I'll try to do better with that. And I've also received counseling here (college) because it's free, but I stopped going last week because I didn't feel like I was getting anything out of it. I'm going to try switching counselors though, because I've heard that helps sometimes. I'll let you know how things go, as of now this weekend has been great though! Thank you again, you guys are great!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 1:29pm

Hi goatgurla411!


I'd also like to extend my welcome to you!


OH!

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 3:13pm
Please get help before it takes over your life. Mine started with the occasional purge but has escalated into something that controls my life. The longer you do it, the more it will take over. It is an addiction.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 10:54am

Hello goatgurla411!

Im so sorry to hear that you have been struggling with the binge/purge episodes *hugs* I know exactly what you mean by feeling like its taking over your life and you dont want it to happen! I suffered from bulimia about three years ago, and trust me... its not the lifestyle you want to live!

You have to love yourself from the inside. What is causing you to want to act on bulimic behaviors? What does food give you? Comfort? Security? Control?

Are you currently in a relationship right now? You might want to see a dietician and ask for some nutritional advice... just so you have some support. Plus, dieticians help to ease some of the food myths that you may have. Instead of ice cream, could you opt for more of a "healthier fare" of food choices such as some vegetables and a piece of meat? Take it slow :)

I really know you can beat this. But I want to tell you something. Its a great step that you can recognise that the behaviors that you are doing are bad for your health. Purging can do some serious damage and I know that you have a great life a head of you :) So please, keep your head up! Take care, k? *hugs*