Struggling
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| Tue, 05-22-2007 - 10:34am |
I've really been struggling lately. I just feel so trapped in my eating disorder. I wonder sometimes if I'm ever going to be able to really change my behavior and start to recover. I know that I need to stay positive and keep trying to change, and that's what I've been trying to do, but sometimes I don't do such a great job. I guess it's hard for me to imagine living and eating like a normal person, but I would love to get out of this eating disordered lifestyle that I'm living now. I just keep going back and forth about how I feel about myself. Somedays, I'm positive and optimistic about my recovery and I really think that I can do it, but other days, I just feel like I'm never going to be able to change.
Does anyone have any advice for just getting through the day to day struggles?

I just always think about how God wants me to recover and I can do ALL things through Christ. God doesn't want my mind to be focused on food, weight, and calories! He wants me to be focused on him! Hope this helps!
~AleX~
I wish everything I'm about to say is as easy as it sounds but unfortunately, recovery is an extremely difficult process. One moment is great and the next is not so great. But times like this - you have to take little steps. Take things moment by moment. Sometimes that's the only way you can get through it. It's impossible to be positive and happy every single day - you are entitled to have bad days.
Change doesn't happen overnight. Your ED probably came about within years - you can't expect it to be manageable in a couple days or even weeks. You've just got to keep hope and faith that things will work itself out eventually.
HTH & Good luck!
siggy by Iris (hot_toddys_mama)
I think you know what I'm going to say ... lol ... go get some help!
~Diana~
Hi perfectpony.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. I too have been struggling with an ED - for many years now. I've been in intensive treatment for a long time now, and I must echo what Diana said about getting professional help. I've learned that EDs are about so much more than food, and having professional help, whether it be from a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or dietician, from someone specializing in ED treatment is the most helpful and agressive way to approach getting free from the ED trap. Having help as you deal with the root issues triggering the ED makes it so much less difficult. Getting professional help is like having the ultimate coach/advocate/partner in working on tough issues and working towards finding balance in your life. I hope you're able to reach out and find someone who can help you in real life.
All the best to you.
Sincerely,
so_cal_runner
I can completely relate to you! I have days where I try to take a challenge, and other days where Im just thinking to myself "my life is pointless.. forget it". Although I dont have the BEST advice considering that I am not quite a good example with ED's, I would suggest trying to journal (try to disect your feelings), or talk to someone like a parent, a friend, a relative?
When you think that you dont want to try, write down some things you want in your future and look at that list. Think to yourself, "Eating a piece of bread wont make me fat because my body needs it for energy", thats what I do. Most of the time it helps
Please take care! I know you can beat this =)
:-) I am here for you if you ever need to talk. It's really nice to meet you. :-)
Hey :)
No problem about the advice - what ever I can do to help you out! I know what its like to be struggling and when you are in a tough position. Its like you just want SOMEONE to live your life for you, and just show you how "healthy" or "normal" people live :P well, at least thats how I feel like most of the time!
Are you feeling any better about food/your body etc.?
Take care, *hugs*
That's exactly how I feel. :-) I was just telling my boyfriend last night that I feel like there is some secret to accepting yourself, and I am fascinated by people who seem to eat normally and not worry about gaining weight. I wish that they would share the secret with me! Oh, I know that there isn't really a secret, but sometimes I feel like there is. :-)
I think that I am starting to feel a little better about my body. It's kind of a slow process, but I've been trying to look in the mirror and say something nice to myself each day. Maybe that's silly, but it makes me feel better. :-)
I completely understand where you're coming from. Sometimes I'm really optimistic about recovery; I feel like maybe I'll be "normal" one day. Then other times, it seems impossible and I can't imagine ever living without an eating disorder.
I've found that when I start to think negatively, I can get myself back on track by concentrating on a single word (almost like a mantra). I read "Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders" by Aimee Liu a few months ago. One of the women in the book explains, "People could move mountains for me, but if they failed one test, I couldn't really trust them anymore." I relate to her a lot. So whenever someone disappoints me, I repeat the word "mountains" over and over in my head. It helps me focus on what I love about the person instead of the behavior that upset me. Words work for me. I know other people might need more (maybe the Serenity Prayer?). You could try it, though.
Thank you for the post about "Life Uncommon." I'm a music person; I obsess over quotes and lyrics. I downloaded the song. I'll listen to it often.
Hope and prayers.
<3 Shannon
Hey hun!
Omg, I am so happy that you have decided to look at your beautiful self in the mirror and tell yourself something great about it :)! It makes me sooo freaking happy *jumps for joy*
Try to smile when you do it, and tell yourself, "Im on this earth once... why obsess about my body and my weight and calories, when I can love other things?" I try to think that. Or, sometimes, I tell myself, "Okay, I want to get married, have great relationships with people, and get a job and get back to college.... but I know I cant if Im this sick" usually that gives me a little *umph* of motivation.
But I wont doubt its hard to stay on that mind-set. But keep up the great work! Love your body - it deserves it! :) Take care*