how do I tell my bf I have an ED??
Find a Conversation
how do I tell my bf I have an ED??
| Wed, 06-13-2007 - 5:02pm |
I have been struggling with anorexia and bulimia since I was 14 (I am now 22) About 3 years ago I came to terms with my problems and was advised by my doctor to take time away from college and tell my family about my ED. I wrote a long heart felt letter to my parents explaining how scared, helpless,and out of control I was feeling and told them all about my ED, asking for their help in the recoveryu process. My parents got angry and then decided to pretend I never told them. They feel that I "cracked under the pressure of college, was failing and thought that claiming I had an eating disorder would get me out of school" I live with them, and I know they see my struggles and pain, yet they still refuse to offer help. I have come to accept this and on my own, feel I have come a long way. I am slowly making progress towards recovery. Lately however, I have been struggling. I had emergency surgery around easter and I am still very swollen in my belly area. This caused the same pain and anger and fear that actual weight gain causes, and I am trying to hold myself together. I have been binging a lot, which of course just makes me gain weight and feel worse and I am starting to feel out of control. I have been wwith my boyfriend for a year and we are planning on living together. I know that I need to tell him about my eating disorder but I dont know how. I know that he deserves to know, and I know that I need his support, but after the way my family reacted, I am too afraid to tell him. I was hoping that someone would be able to advise me in how I should bring up the subject. Thank you so much for any help you can offer (and sorry this was so long!!)

Hi there, jerzgrl29 and welcome!
~Diana~
If your boyfriend really loves you and cares about you he will still love and care about you after you tell him about your eating disorder. I have personally never been rejected because of my eating disorder. I only went out with my boyfriend for two monthes and I told him about my eating disorder. I don't keep secrets with anyone though. It's just who I am. But he was very supportive and he didn't dump me for it. He ended up dumping me later for some chick at church camp but anyways, I would tell him. If you are getting serious with him (and it sounds like you are) then you have to tell him. It might even bring yall even closer and you'll have another person to support you! If he rejects you after you tell him then the realtionship probally wouldn't have worked out anyways. But anyone that I've told has never looked at me any different and has supported me all the way and it just shows how much they really do care about me.
~Alex~
Hello jergrl29!
I agree with what Diana said about your parents. Like recovery, it is an on-going process for them to adjust and accept
Hi jerzgrl29, how are things going?
~Diana~
Do keep us posted :)
~Diana~