I need an opinion!
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| Fri, 06-15-2007 - 4:41pm |
Hi, I'm new here! I would like some of your opinions on my behavior.
I started college last fall and finally just finished my first year. I've always had issues with my body and how I feel about myself. For as long as I can remember my dad he said I'm getting "fluffy" (when I was 11 in a swimsuit in Hawaii) and has always been critical of my apperance. He's told me if I just "lost a few" I would be a knockout. I grew up in an extremely wealthy and appearance based area that has surely affected how I feel about myself. My mother is overweight and has always warned me to "not end up like she has" and telling me things I need to do to prevent it. Basically, that is how my family has influenced my self opinion. Also, I've always been an overacheiver...4.0 in highschool, honors, never happy with my work, always needing to please people around me. I now live in a sorority at my school and ( i REALLY hate to say it because my sorority has done so many positive things for me but...)I seriously feel the pressure now to be thin. I've dabbled here and there in binging and purging. Not too long ago, I was doing it about 5 times a day. However, I figured it was too risky when I was at the house because of how many people would be able to detect it. Now, I basically just do it when I'm home since my parents would never suspect. People have been telling me lately I look thinner and it seems to have made the problem worse...I now see I have to keep going to lose "that extra pound". Any advice? What does this sound like?

Hi there dzet19.
~Diana~
Hello dzet19! Welcome to the board!
College is such a confusing time in life and when you throw in the extra social pressure - it can be very overwhelming to your identity and self. Like Diana, I think that you may have the start of an eating disorder. Which one, I don't know or will try to suggest. The feelings and behaviors are very characteristic of those with eating disorders.
If it is at all possible, I would check into any kind of program that your college/university may have about eating disorders. The health center at my university had a very good program. It ranged anywhere from private one-on-one therapy to group support.
Well, I finally found someone in the same boat. I also just finished my first year of college, and minus the fact that I'm not in a sorority, I feel the same way you do. I have had miscellaneous disordered eating habits since highschool, but this past year, and even more so over the past 6 months or so, I have fallen QUICKLY into a cycle of bingeing and purging. I feel like maybe I shouldn't even be writing this because I really don't have any advice to give, and if I did I would be a hypocrite, but I guess it might help to let you know that you aren't alone. I think we both know how important it is to be healthy and accepting of our bodies as they are, and also how damaging bulimia is. If you need any support I'll always be here to talk! Take care and let me know how you're doing