help please

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
help please
2
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 11:42pm
i dont even know where to start...
almost two years ago now i started losing weight. i weighed about 150 at the time, at 5'6 and a half. it was very slow at first, and i believe a result of simply being more conscious of what i put in my mouth and starting a regular exercise routine (45 min on a treadmill at least 5x a week). within four months, i had lost about 15-18 pounds. others told me i looked great; however, when i looked in the mirror i still hated my tummy (i've always been slim everywhere BUT there...my size 8 jeans would be super baggy everywhere but my waist, where i would usually have a muffin top lol).
in june of last year, i put myself on a strict diet of 1400 calories a day, exercising daily. at the beginning of the summer i weighed a little over 130; by august, i was about 116. my friends and family started to worry about me, and though it was difficult at first, i realized that i couldn't get any thinner and started eating regularly again, though i became somewhat obsessive about not eating junk. i count calories and eat about 1800 calories a day, as much as 2000 on some and as few as 1600 on others, depending on how im feeling about my body that day.
ive maintained this weight for nearly a year now in this way, and im truly happy with the way i look...except when people tell me how tiny i am! it makes me soooo self conscious when friends gush about how cute and thin i am. my parents are a bit suspiscious, constantly encouraging me to eat more. like i said, i count calories a lot and sometimes wish i werent so consumed with it...but im terrified of going back to the way i was!! i DONT want to lose any more weight, but i dont want to gain either. i know i look extremely thin (still about 116 at 5'6.5"), and im constantly trying to hide my thinness somewhat (though not extensively), but i dont want to gain for fear of getting my belly back and not being able to stop eating a lot.
this hasnt been a huge issue recently (like i said, im happy with myself) until tonight my boyfriend told me that the reason i get cold a lot is because i dont eat enough. im scared so much...i dont want to be anorexic, i want to gain a little bit of weight and look healthier (up to 120-122). i just cant bring myself to stop counting calories and let myself eat more than i need to.
does anyone have any advice? i feel like if i tell my parents theyll send me to a hospital or something, which is NOT what i want...i dont want to feel like i have a disease, while i realize that im not really that healthy right now i do eat...1800 calories a day!! please please help me...how did you stop obsessing enough to gain?? how did you stop gaining once you got to your goal weight? any advice/input would be so much appreciated!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
In reply to: beg88
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 12:17pm

Hi there beg88 and welcome to the board.


A great way for you to feel secure is to get the help of a dietician.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
In reply to: beg88
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 5:24pm

Hello beg88!


We really appreciate your honesty and courage to tell us about what is going on with you. I agree with Diana that with the help of a dietician, you can become more comfortable with your food intake and weight gain. They can also help you to come up with a meal plan that you are able to maintain. Body acceptance is something that we all work on constantly. It's not something that comes about overnight. It take a lot of hard work but it all starts with small steps.


I wish you much luck and should you need anything (advice, support, etc.) please feel free to 'talk' to us!

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