QOTW- Maybe *Triggering*

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
QOTW- Maybe *Triggering*
11
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 10:25am

If you're not sure that sharing any of your history is for you right now, then please exit the page -


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Do you know how much of your ed is from personal issues and how much it just seemed to "happen"?


 

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Happy  Halloween!!


 


~ Diana ~


 


 


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http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-bheating&msg=13680.1&x=y





*Thanks*


 



 

 

~Diana~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 10-10-2007 - 2:32pm

Well, I've had an ed since the age of 10.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 11:54am

Hi I'm new but I'd really like to share and I really need some support with my Ed so... here goes..


Thanks Julez for sharing your story, although mine didn't start so young I really related the part about it being your survival, in a twisted sort of way. I feel the same.


I recently left my husband because I'm just so unhappy and depressed and I'm not entirely sure it was the right decision but I'm not entirely sure it was wrong - But it started a little before the summer time when the behaviors began to match my fearful mindset. Working out, burning off as much as I eating on the treadmill, substituting dinner with just a glass of wine - which lead to alcoholism on top of the ED but that's another story - and my parents are SO religious so my entire life they've been over my shoulder telling me everything I'm doing is wrong and I'm going to hell and so I just feel like a horrible wretched person and I don't deserve to eat and I deserve to feel hungry 'cause I'm a bad person. And when I finally eat I make myself throw up, and I hate it. I cry sometimes because it hurts my throat and it really does feel like I'm punishing myself but I feel like I deserve it.


I've recently got on anti-depressants for the depression, majorly cut back on my drinking and am trying desperatly to eat at least 2 meals a day, which I know isn't enough to be considered healthy but it's a challenge all the time to eat and even moreso to wait out the three and four hours afterwards that I'm fighting the urge to throw up.


I joined the gym so that I can work out and it's helped me feel better about eating, although my trainer knows my situation and won't let me over-do it and always makes me eat something small

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Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 1:59pm

SA trigs, ED trigs (numbers mentioned)


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Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 2:03pm
Sorry to hear that your relationship with your family is not that great and neither is your marriage. Can you tell me more about how you didn't want to be like your family? It's entirely up to you whether you want to share or not. The same goes for your marriage if you want to get into that. The point I hope I'm making is I'm here to listen to you if you want to talk more.

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Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 2:07pm

I may have missed something, but did the fear that drove you to your ED come before or after you were told that you were doing everything wrong and going to hell?


I know that you feel two meals isn't enough, but if it's what you can handle right now then good for you.


It's good that you joined a gym in one sense. Exercise makes us feel good, but it's bad if you overdo it, and that is a very easy trap to fall into with an eating disorder. I'm glad you have your trainer to help you.


I'm glad that you want to fight this. That you see the need for change. It can and will happen.


Thanks for sharing your story.


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Avatar for angelfish5765
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 2:16pm
My eating disorder started when I was 14.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 11:14am

Hi angelfish 5765 & welcome!


Thank you for sharing your story.

 

 

~Diana~

Avatar for angelfish5765
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 3:36pm

Hi, and thanks for taking the time to reply to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 3:33pm

You haven't gotten everything you wanted in life.

 

 

~Diana~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 11:45am

I was over-weight my whole life it seemed.

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