need general resources for lung cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
need general resources for lung cancer
12
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 1:37pm

Just got "the call" from my mother. She's having a biopsy tomorrow to confirm lung cancer.

I'm an analytical type A personality and need to read and get myself informed. I did a search of the old messages which helped, but does anyone have any links that I can check out to get a good intro to this so I can understand everything that the doctors tell us?

BTW, I'm a freaking mess. I have a 1 yr old son. My parents only grandchild. I live in TX and they live in OK. Everytime I think about my son growing up and maybe not having my mother around, I turn into the anti-Type A personality. :)

Thanks.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 4:44pm

Welcome :)

Judy

cl-ivhjude

Avatar for coloradomom2b
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 10:21pm

nalamia, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I am in a similar situation. They found a mass on my mom's lung January 8th. I live in Colorado, and she lives in Oregon. I have a 4 year old son. It is so hard being so far away, especially with a young grandchild. Being informed also helps me to process things better and understanding things makes it easier to bear.

Here are some links that I found with a quick google search. You may have already found them:
http://www.lungcanceralliance.org/
http://www.lungcancer.org/
http://www.lungcanceronline.org/

I agree with Judy when she said to have two people at every appointment. My mom only remembers part of what the doctor says at each meeting. It has been my dad who has been able to tell me any information, and who asks all the questions.

I know that the Live Strong foundation has a lot of great information on it. (www.livestrong.org) They will send you free information on whatever type cancer that you wish. They also will send a free survivor's notebook to your mom. The notebook is a great resource, a wonderful place for her to write down any information or thoughts, and read about other survivors.

I know we all cope with things differently, but here are some things that have helped me to cope this last month since my mom's diagnosis, although they may or may not help you. First, I went home for a weekend with my son exactly one week after they found the mass in her lung. Just seeing my mom 'being normal' really helps me to focus on today. It helps me to think about that weekend with her being alive and vibrant after her diagnosis. I also have great pictures of her and my son so we can all look back at it in the future.

I also try to only worry about one thing at a time, and I don't let myself worry about the future. I don't worry about her dying because that is too far ahead. Right now I only allow myself to stress about the next test. Thinking about one day at a time, one test at a time, and not thinking the 'maybes' and uncertanties of the future has helped me a lot.

I also focus on the positive things that have happened since my mom was diagnosed. A lot of great things are happening since the mass was found. It's been amazing.

I keep a blog, or online journal. I really helps me to sort out my feelings and process the information that I come across. You are welcome to read it if you like (http://spaces.msn.com/tallteacher). Just getting it down on paper (or the computer) really helps me to let it go out of my head. I stop thinking so much about the negative things after I write my thoughts down.

Finally, I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can help my mom. If you read my blog, you will see some of the things I am doing for her to support her from afar. We also talk on the phone every day. It has been nice.

Good luck to you and your mom. I wish you the best. Please feel free to let us know if there is anything else you need, and update us on her progress.
Tamie

Feb 09 Siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 9:54am

Tamie and Judy,

Thanks SO much for the links and the kind words. I knew this board would point me to the RIGHT links to read. There's so much out there, I wanted to make sure I'm reading something truly helpful.

I guess we'll know more probably on Wednesday after we get the biopsy results.

Thanks again,

Erika

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 2:32pm

Tamie you have a wonderful post here and helpful links, thank you.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 2:43pm

Erika, with all the links I thought you might be pretty busy reading over the weekend :)

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 8:34pm

Judy,

Your post was perfectly clear. I work in IT and have been designing .net computer systems for awhile now. Google is my favorite site! Honestly, I just didn't want to wander somewhere that was going to give me information that would freak me out. :)

I started with the American Cancer Society website and went from there. I feel much more informed and I'm starting to learn the lingo.

Thanks!

Erika

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 8:56pm

Erika, I am so used to chatting with folks who are not as knowledgeable about the internet, forgive me for approaching your post that way.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 4:24am

I'm just sending hugs....No kids here yet, but TTC---until the moment I panic and think what if this child grew up without any family but her/his dad and I? And that flips me out to the point of reconsidering the whole baby thing. When I'm less weepy I'll find you some sites, I have a ton of links on NSCLC. And if you'd like to talk or email, feel free...I've been dealing with this for the past 18 months at this point.

Chris

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 02-11-2006 - 1:42pm

Chris I hope you don't mind that I jump in here.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 5:00pm

Chris,

I understand what you're saying about family being around. 4 of my 5 grandparents are still alive and 3 of the 5 lived within 15 minutes of where I grew up, so not only did *I* have that special relationship with them, my son is now getting to know them and they absolutely love being GREAT-grandparents.

However, Judy is right. We, as a society, move around SO MUCH now that it's not uncommon for children to not know their grandparents that well even if they are still alive.

Here's the best reason I can give you for not giving up TTC... from the moment my son was born, DH said, "He has your mom's nose!" and he was absolutely right. I have a piece of my mother toddling around the house getting into everything and I love it. You will discover wonderful things in your child that remind you of your parents and you will cherish it deeply.

Good luck!

Erika

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