Am I in denial?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Am I in denial?
25
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 5:50pm
I am not sure what I should be feeling or saying about my mom and her terminal cancer. She seems to be getting worse everyday. We are extreemly close although whenever she talks to me about her aches and pains or worse when she says she feels like her body is giving up I always ignore her! or change the subject. I feel like an awful daughter, am I normal?

Melissaphoto

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 10:16pm

I think I know what you mean. Right now, I am in my hometown for my wedding (why now?!), and my mom is slowly slipping away. I find myself putting off going into her room to visit, because it is so painful to see her. But, I do make sure I see her a few times a day. Perhaps you might force yourself so that you don't find yourself regretting this time later.

Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:41am

Hi wisconsinmom and welcome to the board.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:43am

Beth you give wonderful suggestions, thank you.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:55am
I do agree that I need to reach out to my mother so I don't end up regretting it later. Her depression is overwhellming to her and she has expressed that she's so sick of being sick but she is afraid to die. I'm not sure why it is so hard for me to be supportive. I do think your right and I really need to force myself. Congrats on our upcomming wedding, I too am getting married (finally!). Thank you!

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:01am
Thank you Judy, you gave some great advice! Its hard not to feel guilty but I know my mom understands why I do the things I do. It is true I do not want to accept the fact that she will die and I feel like if I can't accept it now I will have a mental breakdown when she really does. I will force myself to try some of your advice. Wish me luck!
-Melissa

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 12:07pm

The wedding is Saturday at 10A Pacific time.

Express.
Beth "Petrouchka"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 10:37pm

Well, I told my Mom yesterday how I fealt. I told her It was hard for me to listen to it but I was, and will , always listen to her. If that makes scence to you. She said she knew, and actually cracked a few jokes. I fell much better after laying it all out on the table. I need my Mom in my life, she's my best friend.

On a different subject, tommorrow she is heading to vegas, i'm not sure its a great plan but her friend bought her a ticket, she's excited to go. I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT HER IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! She has to go to the ER in Vegas and have her blood drawn and the results faxed to her oncologist (my mom was upset about that). I feel guilty wishing she didn't go but I hope she has the time of her life.

Anyways, It sure feels good to just type your feelings out. It makes me feel better.

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 10:51pm
I am so glad you spoke with your mom and got it all out on the table, it really will make it a little easier in terms of your fears and anxiety and for her an outlet to share one of the most important times of her life ... with you.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 10:54pm
Oh my the wedding is almost here, congratulations again, have a wonderful time:)

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Fri, 05-12-2006 - 2:41pm
you have some really good advice. Thank you so much.

Melissaphoto

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