Am I in denial?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Am I in denial?
25
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 5:50pm
I am not sure what I should be feeling or saying about my mom and her terminal cancer. She seems to be getting worse everyday. We are extreemly close although whenever she talks to me about her aches and pains or worse when she says she feels like her body is giving up I always ignore her! or change the subject. I feel like an awful daughter, am I normal?

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 05-13-2006 - 5:37am
Why thank you so much wisconsinmomof3

Judy


cl-ivhjude
Living with Cancer
Cancer: Friends & Family Support


"With understanding, fear diminishes;
in the

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 9:22am
I heard from my Mother yesterday in Vegas (FINALLY). I left lots of messages on her cell phone. She said she was having the time of her life (YEAH), although they had to rent her a wheelchair because her ankles swelled and she was having trouble walking. I'm glad she is having a good time!
-Melissa

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 1:08am
Melissa yayayayayayayaya I knew your mom was gonna rise to the occasion and have a wonderful time.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 10:10am

Judy,

My mom comes home today from her vacation. I talked to her yesterday morning and she sounded so happy. My mom is a jokester, so she was cracking jokes. She said she put $20 down on the Chicago Bears to win the superbowl for my fiance. I thought that was thoughtful. I am excited to see her, I plan on picking her up tonite she is going to spend the night at my house (hopefully, she may decline because she is exausted!)
I'll let you know.

Melissa

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 5:35pm

Melissa I am so glad your mom is having a ball doing what she wants to do.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 10:50pm

i'm kinda sad because she declined coming over today. She still hasn't made it home yet, she is at a friends house until tonite trying to feel better. The vacation took a lot out of her. My mom said "too much partying!". That's okay I understand although it still makes me mad, not at her just at the cancer itself. I hate it so much! We used to have so much fun together. I just wish I had my Mom back, and sometimes I feel like I do...on her good days. Yes, I feel selfish and I think that's part of my denial in a way. I can't accept that I won't have my best friend around my whole life. I think part of her is scared to come over because my kids are to exhausting for her because they love her so much. They don't understand why "Buddy" (thats what they call her LOL) isn't goofin' off with them like they used to. My son is extreemly close with her and he understands some what. Anyways thanks for letting me vent.

Melissa

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 12:30pm

Melissa you are not alone, I hate cancer with a passion just like you, it is a thief and robs everyone.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 2:15pm
Thank you! Its good to know that from someone else because I wasn't sure if she slept all the time because of the cancer or depression. My Mother has also struggled with depression for the better part of her life.

Melissaphoto

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 5:59pm
Most people end up with depression after being diagnosed with cancer if they didn't have it prior.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 6:44pm
HI wisconsinmom
I read this and felt like it was the same thing I am going through. I have the same situation with my Mom, she's dying of cancer and is getting progressivly worse. I don't want her to be sick and don't want to admit that she is dying and I either change the subject or just ignore it, even though lately I have been more open to her telling me what's going on and it really helps to talk about it openly. From what I've found out talking to other people, it's normal to be this way and it's very hard to deal with your Mom that is like a best friend dying. I don't know if this is advice, but just to let you know that I am going through the exact same thing.