question for those who might know...

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Registered: 05-09-2003
question for those who might know...
10
Sun, 05-14-2006 - 11:27pm

My dad has had prostate cancer for ten years and he recently found out that the cancer has spread to the bones,liver,lymphnodes, ect. He was given a medication that is suposed to hopefully slow down the cancer and extend his life a year. How long does one usually live from the time the cancer spreads until the end?

Thanks,
Sarah (too young to loose my dad)

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Registered: 05-09-2006
Mon, 05-15-2006 - 11:41am
I feel alot like you. A peice of advice I can give you is to keep HOPE alive. Every situation is different. My Mom has had cancer for the last 3 1/2 years, which has spread to her lymphnodes and bones. Dr's gave her 6month to a year to live 2 years ago. Her quantity of life may be limited but her quality of life can keep on kicking. My mistake (and trust me I still think about it all the time...im still dealing with it!) was always thinking about what I was going to do with out my Mom in my life. I've learned that I need to be supportive and nurturing to her when she's here now. As you know Cancer is devestating to everyone. Another thing that made me feel better when I had unanswered questions was talking to my Mom's oncologist and nurses. There are there for family as well.

Melissaphoto

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Mon, 05-15-2006 - 5:23pm

My dad doesn't want us talking to his doctors. Ten years ago when he was first diagnosed he didn't even tell us. He just tossed the report on the kitchen table and walked out.

He has decided not to continue taking the medication that was given him and keep taking the testosterone creme the DRs said not to take. I looked it up on oncologyhealth.org and it says that a common treatment for prostate cancer, even when it has spread to the rest of the body, is REDUCING testosterone because testosterone feeds the cancer. Yet, he insists that the DRs just want to give him misleading advice/treatment to kill him and will take the testosterone cream anyway.

My mom is such a mess. She is so upset and yells at him all the time. She won't let him enjoy his favorite foods (chocolate cake and vanila ice ream and malts and brownies and fudge and bread, ect.) He has to eat a 75 % raw foods diet with no meats, wheat gluten, or sugars, ect.

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Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 12:53am

Hi springoflife and welcome to the board.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

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Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 05-16-2006 - 12:56am

Wisconsin thanks for your words or support and wisdom.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

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Tue, 05-16-2006 - 8:53am

He never had treatment to begin with, so ten years is pretty good I suppose. He used various herbal/alternative remedies, some helped and some didn't. He never stuck with anything. When he began to get better he would stop taking it and start taking something else because this other thing is suposed to work better then what he was taking. Sometimes he would said he was healed and there is no more cancer and stop whatever therapy he was doing at the time, but he wouldn't go to the DR to find out if this was true. Then one day he would get worse again and start a new treatment.

Although neither of my parents have had jobs in years, they have racked up thousands of dollars on the credit cards- much of it his alternative cures. I have no problem with that if he stuck with one, but he hasn't and the financial strain is hard on all of us- particularly my husband since he's the only one working out of the seven of us. So, it's been ten years of going from one thing to another. The DRs said he would have eight years if he didn't get surgery, and he's had ten, so we are blessed to have him this long. I hated going away to college knowing that he may die while I was gone and I wouldn't be allowed to go home for the funeral (the college was extremely strict about classes missed and you had to get special permission to be gone past curfew or to leave the city even if returning the same day. My roomate's brother wasn't allowed to leave when their mother died of cancer a couple years earlier.)

I have no problem with him using the testosterone cream if it's because he wants the cancer to progress, but he doesn't. He insists that he's seen lots of research that it cures cancer and that the doctors are just trying to kill the patients by telling them not to use it. He is extremely paranoid. He always has been. We weren't allowed to have internet when I was a teenager and we always had to unplug the computer when not in use because someone driving by could read everything on the computer just through the electric lines. What did we have on the computer that was so important? Nothing, but the idea that those people could read private documents was unnerving to him.

Anyway, my dad has councellors available to him at the VA hospital, but he is afraid that anyone he speaks with is going to try to tell him what he's doing treatment wise is not going to be effective. He is suffering from a severe hernia but he won't have surgery because he's afraid they will remove his prostate while they are in there.

Sorry, too long.

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Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 05-17-2006 - 5:51pm

You have described your dad and what you are up against well, I get the picture and it is a scary one, I see why you have been upset.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

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Sun, 05-21-2006 - 5:42pm

Since he has been going to the VA hospital he has seen an oncologist recently. They did a CT scan and found that the cancer has spread to his bones and lymphnodes and liver and all, so I don't think there's much they can do for him at this point.

I'm handling things OK, especially since my dad and I never had a good relationship, but my mom isn't doing so well. She's very upset.

He's stopped taking the medication the DR was giving him and is on a NO protein (not even soy or rice or beans or nuts ) NO dairy, NO grains, only raw fruits and vegetables diet. He plans on staying on it until he dies. My mom is on this aweful diet too, though, and I'm afraid for her health. She already said she's doing badly emotionally both due to the diet and obviously the state of my father.

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Registered: 03-22-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 3:19pm
I am so sorry, it is difficult to find words for a situation like yours.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

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Fri, 05-26-2006 - 5:49pm
Thanks. My parents live with us, sort of. We bought property large enough for them to live here because we knew that there would come a day that we would need to take care of them. So they live in a mobile home a few yards away. It's been good for them to be out here. They have a vegetable garden and my dad enjoys mowing and trimming the trees and stuff. Sometimes I get irritated with having them nearby but I am glad they have been able to spend so much time with my girls (Who are three, two and one.) They don't see my sister and neices (three and a new born) very often because my sister and her husband kind of avoid family members (it's mostly her husband fault, because he's a recluse sort of.)
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Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 10:52am
Providing a place for your parents is really a wonderful thing to do.

Judy

cl-ivhjude