Melanoma

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Melanoma
9
Thu, 07-06-2006 - 8:13pm

Hi, new here to iVillage. Use to be a member of the boards. My mom was diagnosed almost 3 years ago with Stage IV Melanoma. We just got back from visiting with her (we moved 3 years ago) and got a shock. I never knew the tumors would look like they did or be as many as they were. Then I found a tumor on her head on the opposite side. I'm so scared. I've had conversations with her recently about life insurance policies, funeral arrangements, etc. I never thought I would be having these conversations at this point. She's been going to MD Anderson in Houston, which I may say, is a spectacular facility.

I just don't have people here to talk to. My father and stepmother don't want to hear a thing about my mother. My friends dont' ask, so I don't want to bring it up. They just don't understand how scared I am. My son, who is very close to my mother, doesn't talk about it. I knew he thought she looked weird being bald, but joked with her.

Just wanted to let out feelings going on inside my head. Thanks for letting me ramble.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
In reply to: cherbry
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 1:08am

Hi. You can post or email me anytime. I feel your pain and so do so many others here.
I also just went through the life insurance,funeral arrangements etc. with my Mom. She even wrote her own obituary. I thought that I was going to lose it.
My friends have been asking about my Mom. It may sound crazy but sometimes I wish that they would'nt keep asking about all the details. I say that because,every time I talk about it, I start to cry. And they mean well and keep asking me if there is anything that they can do for me. I want to say"Can you make my mother's cancer go away? If not then there is nothing you can do but pray or hold a good thought for us all."

Even though my mother's prognosis is very poor, I will not let her give up hope. I believe hope is so important. Once she loses her will to fight, the cancer will win. It may very well win in the long run, but not today.

Hang in there and please vent anytime you need to. I feel very alone myself. Even when people are around me. I still feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: cherbry
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 2:34am

Hi cherbry and welcome to the board, I'm glad you posted :)

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: cherbry
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 2:39am

''Hang in there and please vent anytime you need to. I feel very alone myself. Even when people are around me. I still feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.''


Forgive me for jumping in

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
In reply to: cherbry
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 5:03pm

Thank you so much Judy. I definately need the hugs.:)

I am so grateful that I am able to come to this board .

Thanks so much for your support. Your post actually put a smile on my face. Quite an accomplishment these days.....:)

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2003
In reply to: cherbry
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 5:27pm

Just wanted to add a few more cyber {{HUGS}}

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
In reply to: cherbry
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 10:28pm

Hi Judy,
Yes my mom is currently having treatment. She had one strong dose of 6 chemos fo 1 week. Now she is taking taxol and is beginning her second round of it. She lives in Louisiana and I live in Connecticut so we don't get to visit often but I call her daily. Her doctor is going to make her "terminally ill" and she's getting paperwork ready for disability retirement. I just never thought she'd be going through this. A lot of family members on her side have had one form of cancer or another. I also never thought melanoma would like like it did. I was expecting bumps under the skin, not something I could actually see. She has had all of her lymph nodes removed from under her left arm. One doctor in Louisiana had told her they may have to amputate her left arm. Her doctor at MD Anderson said they haven't done that since the 70's. I liked the doctor and everyone there were very sweet and friendly to all of the patients I saw.

Thanks for listening.

Cheryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
In reply to: cherbry
Fri, 07-07-2006 - 10:32pm

Hilary,
Thank you for your thoughts. It's nice to know I can "let it out" here. I talk with my mom everyday even though she lives in Louisiana and I live in Connecticut. I can't get down there to visit as much as I would like. But the phone conversations are great! Her spirits are up as much as they could be, and she's accepting the outcome. Her doctor is going to be making her "terminally ill" and she'll be going on disability retirement once the paperwork is through. She's worried financially and i can't help her. I guess that bothers me too. I can't take care of her, so I'll just be happy to be at the other end of the phone when she needs me.

thanks again

Take Care
Cheryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: cherbry
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:45am

Cheryl, wow, amputation as an option is something I have never heard of for melanoma.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: cherbry
Sat, 07-08-2006 - 4:49am

''Thanks so much for your support. Your post actually put a smile on my face. Quite an accomplishment these days.....:)''


And now you have made me smile as well :)

Judy


cl-ivhjude
Living with Cancer
Cancer: Friends & Family Support
Finding Your Best Life


"With understanding, fear diminishes;
in the

Judy

cl-ivhjude