Hospice Care for Mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
Hospice Care for Mom
21
Wed, 07-26-2006 - 10:32pm

Hi. I called hopice this week and they came yesterday. Her Doctors never even mentioned Hospice to me, I called on my own.My Mom is getting so bad so quickly. I cant believe she was walking and driving and taking care of herself a month ago. Her Ca diagnosis was a month ago. I guess because the Breast CA went un-detected for so long,it had years to grow and spread.

She started having periods of confusion today which absolutely broke my heart. I have been taking care of her all by myself since she came home from the hospital weeks ago. She is unable to get out of bed. She told me today that she was not talking to me today because I did not talk to her yesterday. I wanted to cry. I was with her all day yesterday. My poor children are so upset that I do not have the time that I usually have for them. It is tough. They are still very young,9 and 5, to truly understand.

I know that my Mom did not mean what she said to me. It still made me feel bad. I want my Mom back. The way she was. And I know that will never happen. She still managed to make a joke today when she was having a good moment. She is also so depressed.

Thanks for listening. Please say a prayer for us all.

Elena

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 2:20am

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 08-13-2006 - 4:16am

Thank you for your thoughts Elena.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2005
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 12:30pm

Elena,

I so understand and totally sympathize with what you are going through right now. I am going through the exact same thing you are. My Mom also has breast cancer that has spread all throughout her body. It's in her lungs and throat also and they've given her about 4 months. I just totally understand what you're going through! please please feel free to email me or post here about your mom.

The doctors here haven't been the greatest, I've gleamed more from the hospice nurses than from anybody else. They've been very very helpful and god bless them for the work that they do! They truly are angels.

Please hang in there! I know how rough it is.

love,
Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 3:46pm

Hi Sarah. Thanks so much for your post and support.

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this too.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

You can also feel free to email me or post to me here. :)

Thanks again....

Elena

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 12:37am

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Hi Sarah:


I am so sorry your Mom is so ill.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 12:44am

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Hi Elena:


How are you doing?

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 1:34am

Thank you so much Philly.

I am hanging in there -for lack of a better term. I miss her so much. My 5 year old, tells me everyday that she misses her Nana very much. Hearing her pain just tears at what is left of my heart.

I have to go back to work after I get the kids settled back in school. I was working part time before I stopped to take care of my Mom. I need to find a new job. I don't want to go back so soon, bt I think that for financial reasons, I may not have a choice. I just have to try to get my emotions under control more. :)

I am waiting for that "good" day. I know it takes time, as all things do. I play with my children, I cook, clean and do what I have to in order to keep their life as "normal" as possible. I laugh with my daughter, and then that wave of sadness comes because I think of my Mom.How much she would have loved to hear that joke,or play with my kids. I can't run into the next room and ask her opinion. That sort of thing. And the anger is still there at the Docs.I try to push that aside but it creeps back up. I keep thinking that she should have followed her Mom's situation---diagnosed early with Breast CA, had a Mastectomy and die 20 years later of something else.And if they found it early, she might have done just that or at least have had a fighting chance.

I am petrified for myself now. Since my Mom went un-detected for so long, it scares me. I have reqested all her films and I am going to probably see a Breast Specialist early on. If they ever see density or grouped calcifications in me-God forbid- they better pull out that biopsy needle.

Sorry to ramble on...... :)

Thanks again......It means a lot to me.....

Elena

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 8:58pm

Hi Elena


I am hanging my head in shame!!!

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2004
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 12:36am

Hi Philly. Thanks again for your support.

Today was an exceptionaly bad day. I felt like it was only yestterday that she passed. What started me crying this morning may sound ridiculous but it is what happened.

Her lawyer-probating her will--sent me some papers to sign. There were typos in them, date of death incorrect-etc. When I spoke to him, he told me that he was going away and would be back after Labor Day. All of a sudden, I was so envious, I guess envious is the word, that he was able to enjoy his life and go away and my life will never be the same. I also hate having to rely on someone else to guide me with all the legal stuff. Her lawyer is a very close friend of the family,so trust is not an issue. I guess I know his family and I just pictured them having a "normal" life and I am afraid that I will never enjoy anything again.

Bad, bad day. But I am still standing and able to vent about it. :)

Thanks again.......

Elena

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 1:23am

Elena it sounds like your day was really nasty and I hope tomorrow brings you a bit more peace.

Judy

cl-ivhjude