New here - my brother is dying

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
New here - my brother is dying
10
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 4:19pm
Hello everyone. I just need to post here and get it out. Thank you in advance for reading. My brother was dx'd in 1986 with Melanoma. He was given 6 months to live it was so widespread and awful. I think because he was so young at the time, 24, that I think that helped him survive. After very aggressive treatment, he went into remission until about 4 years ago when it came back in his left leg. He had surgery and treatment and went back into remission.
Well, not anymore. It came back only in his liver this time 10 months ago and he didn't know. He found out a week ago due to a sonogram for abdominal pain. My family flew out to the hospital in NV over the weekend to say goodbye as it is now metastatic (sp?) everywhere and he could go at any moment. He looked so terrible.
He is only turned 44 yo last May. I cannot believe it and am devastated.
Please wear sunscreen and put it on your children every single day - such a simple and lifesaving habit to get into.
Thanks for listening, Kelli





<
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 10-04-2006 - 2:17am

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 2:30am

Kelli welcome to the board.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

Avatar for klmuc
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 10-07-2006 - 8:06pm

Oh Kelli, I am so sorry. I have never had to go through a severe illness or loss of a sibling, so I just can not imagine -- it must be the most difficult thing. A brother or sister is a very special gift.

You & your family are in my prayers.

Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 1:39pm

Hi Karen


Thank you for dropping in and giving

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Sun, 10-08-2006 - 4:43pm
Thanks to everyone who posted to me, I don't know how to do a Reply All here. He is now on the fentenal (sp?) patch and liquid morphine. Every day he gets a little worse and skinnier due to the pain. All we can do is accept the inevitable and hope there's not too much pain. I think my mother is finally out of denial. I feel terrible for her because I am certain it's worse for a mother than a sister. I know I would break if it were one of my children.
Thanks to all again, Kelli





<
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 7:26pm
Kelli how is he doing and how are you doing?

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 8:15am
He was sent home on Thursday with meds and hospice. My mother is trying to get him into a private sector cancer care center (he is VA) so they can cure him. That's actually harder than accepting the reality - her denial! It's frustrating!! And the first night home, he didn't take his medicine so woke up in extreme pain. When asked why he didn't, he said he was worried about addiction (even though nurse told him that was one thing he certainly didn't have to worry about) and also he thought he was "getting better" in the hospital so didn't need the meds! I just want to slap everyone and tell them to start talking and dealing with their feelings as opposed to acting like it's just another mole that needs cutting out. I know, that's terrible of me but I am completely frustrated with their false hope.
Of course I am not saying anything, just being supportive and listening and it's certainly not my place to saying anything. I just think that if you only have so much time left to spend it enjoying it rather than scrambling and suffering for something that isn't going to happen.
Thanks for asking, it's nice to be "real" here when I can't anywhere else. Kelli





<
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 3:56am

Hi Kelli


Oh my it is so difficult.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 10:41pm
Kelli I understand the frustration you are having and you are not a terrible person for feeling this way at all.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 10-26-2006 - 11:58am
Dear Kelli,
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
Sending you a hug!
Lorie
Nightangel