Husband Diagnosed just before Christmas

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Husband Diagnosed just before Christmas
16
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 10:34am
My husband was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer right before Xmas. He had had a non-cancerous brain tumor 4 yrs ago and the last of it was taken out 2 yrs ago so this was just an annual MRI check up for the tumor and they found spots on the brain. With all the test MRI and CT Scans it came back that he had it in the lung, liver, bone, lymph, and brain area. The Dr. told us that after is has reached the brain the average life-span is 4 mo. I guess I am posting here just to know if anybody can let me know what to expect. Last week he started radiation everyday and had his first chemo treatment and to look at him he is as healthy as can be and in pretty good shape so I don't understand how it can be that fast or am I just in denial.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 1:04am

Hi.....before I get into the serious stuff.......I just had to say I like your member name!!!

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 1:16pm

littlebit welcome to the board :)

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
Wed, 01-17-2007 - 9:06pm

Hello Littlebit,

My husband was diagnosed with metastatic cancer in July of 06. He had a brain tumor about 4 years ago that was removed and now the cancer has come back in the pelvis and the ribs. He has undergone radiation and chemo and the tumors only shrank minimally. He is about to undergo radiation again. We have a one year old and I am in medical school 5 mo away from being a doc myself. This has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I have watched him have some horrible days following chemo and some days appears healthier than ever. It has been tough because he can't walk or sit for long periods of time because he is in so much pain and it has limited what he can do with our daughter. Some days are good and some days definitely not so good. We have not gotten a prognosis but my own research shows 2 years...I hate thinking about it and I have been searching for some online support. I pray for you and can completely understand how you feel..when you are going through something like this it is hard to imagine that anyone else could even begin to know how you feel.

Lilmooches

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 2:27am

Welcome ((((((((((

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:20pm

Welcome lilmooches to our board.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2005
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:43pm
Thank you guys for welcoming me to the board. It is so nice to talk to people going through this same situation. I have not found a local support group here. I am not even sure how to go about doing this. Do you have advice on finding a support group for caregivers?
I am so glad that you are doing well and my prayers are with you. It is amazing to me what the human spirit can do when there is a deep rooted will to live.
Lilmooches
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:55pm
Locally support groups are not easy to find until you "get into the system."

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 3:39pm
Hi, littlebit. I hope today is a good day for you. I'm praying for you and your family. Your husband sounds like a good man. My brother was diagnosed last Oct. with Metestetic lung cancer. He is now living with me. I'm learning to take one day at a time. Every day I pray to God let this day be a good day. My brother was the type to never go to the docter. I'm glad to hear that your husband is willing to try the Chemo. My brother tryed only 1 treatment and I couldn't get him to go back. They only did 10 radiation treatments to his brain and 10 to his hip. They said that they normally do 40 but they were only doing 10 each to help releave the pain. They didn't tell me if it would give him any more time. My brother does not want to do any more Chemo. It made him so sick and now he is so weak. My brother was sick for a long time before he even found out about his cancer.
Try not to get discouraged. Your husband sounds like a fighter. That's good. That should work in his favor. I would think that the 4 month thing would be if he didn't have treatment. Did they say? The problem with my brother is he does not want more treatment and if he did, he is already so weak now. The radiation by itself was hard on him but it did help his pain. How many treatments is your husband supposed to get? (Chemo and radiation?) Did they tell you anything about what to expect? My brothers docters never tell us much of anything except that they can't cure him but they can treat him. One docter told us that he thought that my brother had just a few months and the other docters want say anything about how long he may have. This was back in Oct. I'm scared to ask now but maybe I should.
Keep up updated.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 4:35pm
I think we are posting each other on the each others threads. I read about your brother on yours and it made me so sad for the way you found him and that he was so much alone. They told my husband that once it showed up on the brain that the average survival was 4 months. He is strong and in his 3rd week of radiation on his head and lungs, and doing chemo. The last couple of days he started losing his hair and it just came out in clumps so we got the clippers out and cut it all off. It sounds like the same as your brothers it started in the lungs, and went to the liver, and bones and spots showed up on his brain when he was just having his annual MRI for the previous non-malignant brain tumor he had had 4 yrs ago and had removed the last of it in 2004. We would not have known anything was wrong with him because he is 63 and just had aches and pains. He has spots on his hip bones and back and the Dr. said if they grew they would paralyze him probably. They also said with the radiation on the lungs it will burn his esophogus so that he will have a hard time swallowing. He has a positive attitude because we have 2 boys that are ages 19 and 22 and he still wants to be around and be with them and still help them out with college and stuff. So he is not ready to give up. Everything I have read attitude makes a big part of it if they still have a lot to live for. I am working and still trying to keep up at work because so far he is well enough to take himself to treatments but just fills tired and crappy when he does come home. My heart breaks for your brother and that he was so alone and for you. Which we have always said if you are feeling sorry for yourself just look around the corner and other are there that have it worse. They say God only gives you what you can handle and we have went thru several things in our lives that have made us strong so that we can go through this, but to tell you the truth I am pretty darn tired of being strong. I told him last night our lives were like a nightmare and that I was ready to wake up now. We have no control over our lives and God has a plan for each of us. I told him that apparantly God has a plan for him. The thing that I having a hard time with is working when your life is in such a turmoil and trying to keep everything together and not be too short with the people that don't really understand what we are going through. I feel like I must work to keep my job in good standing if something does happen because financially we are not that secure. I feel for your and the trouble you have had with your son and your life now with your brother, but we just never do know how it will turn out. That is one thing my husband did say he thinks it would be harder to watch me or the kids go through it and that he is on the easy side of it. The best way to help yourself is too help others and you will be rewarded over and over I am sure of that since your are taking care of others. Best Wishes and We Will pray for you and the decision you have to make.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2007
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 12:25am
Littlebit: Sounds like we are in the same boat. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in August '06. November '06 he had surgery to remove half his liver and a tumor the size of a cantaloupe. The cancer is of unknown origin, and had metasticized to his liver and peritoneum. He is taking chemo now, & has 4 more treatments to go. Soon after his diagnosis we decided to return to our hometown. We will move back mid-March, after his last treatment. His children, grand children and sisters live there and he wants to spend quality time with them. Hubby has remained active thru it all. He still plays golf about 3 times a week. I am in the process of packing up the house,washing walls and windows, plying him with healthy food so he won't lose any more wieght, etc.
I am beginning to resent his lack of involvement at home. I realize he is ill,and doesn't have the strength and stamina that he had before. At what point do I finally blow up? I'm tired, I don't sleep well, and we're getting closer to the move date. Have been on antidepressants for about 10 years as it is. Even went back on HRT to ease things a bit. Is it OK or normal to experience anger or resentment over something totally not in our control? I suppose its time for me to put my big girl panties on a "get over it". ...and miles to go before I sleep...
Thanks for listening to my pity party. Have laundry to finish up, and we go to Texas for another chemo treatment tomorrow.
Good luck, keep the faith.
okiemama

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