Husband Diagnosed just before Christmas

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Husband Diagnosed just before Christmas
16
Tue, 01-09-2007 - 10:34am
My husband was diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer right before Xmas. He had had a non-cancerous brain tumor 4 yrs ago and the last of it was taken out 2 yrs ago so this was just an annual MRI check up for the tumor and they found spots on the brain. With all the test MRI and CT Scans it came back that he had it in the lung, liver, bone, lymph, and brain area. The Dr. told us that after is has reached the brain the average life-span is 4 mo. I guess I am posting here just to know if anybody can let me know what to expect. Last week he started radiation everyday and had his first chemo treatment and to look at him he is as healthy as can be and in pretty good shape so I don't understand how it can be that fast or am I just in denial.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 2:40am

Hi


Thank you for dropping.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Thu, 02-08-2007 - 7:00am
Oakie welcome to the board, I'm glad you posted and brought up a very important topic.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 12:15pm

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts.

Yesterday we had a Dr. appt. to see if after 14 radiation treatments to the lungs and 20 treatments to the head along with 5 wks. of chemo. My H had a CT Scan to see what the results were. The tumors had shrunk a little but not as much as the Dr. had hoped and stated that more radiation would not be feasible now and too save it for later in other areas when needed. The most I got out of the appt. was that they did the lungs to try and slow it down and in hopes that the liver tumors will take over because it is a lot less painful death than the lung tumors. He stated that with the liver you would just slip into a coma, but with the lungs the air was cut off and a lot of struggling. It was once again a reality check that he is dying and not a whole lot we can do about it. Neither one of asked how long it takes, I guess we didn't want to know. Angry YES. Because he is not the same man he use to be and to watch him feel bad and struggle and not have him to depend on is making me angry, but we just have to keep going on day by day. I am trying to still work and will struggle to take care of him. Like a friend brought up from my name I am not a very big person 4'9 112 lbs and he is 190lbs. So I will have to call on friends and family and support because there is no way I can really help him when he gets down and that is discouraging. He has accepted his fate and thinks he is on the easy side of things and that it is harder for the family to go through it than him. Just tired of trying to be strong for everyone and stay in a good mood at work and keep up the front, but don't want to always be down and not have people enjoy being around me and dreading that and wondering what to say if anything. This stuff is just awful stuff and everything happens for a reason. Just wish God would have sent me a memo or and email so I knew what to do for the reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 02-13-2007 - 2:08pm

I am so very sorry that the news is not good.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 11:03am

Oh hugs....

For whatever it is worth, I know what you are going through. I wish when I was going through this, I had more people to say that to me. Pray for strength, and pray for peace. I have not found my answer from God yet either.
There is nothing worse than watching a loved one/spouse/parent, whomever, going through the deterioration this disease causes. And the feelings of helplessness that come with it. Call on all support. People are kind, and will gladly offer it. My Dad had a dozen people that without asking, drove him to doctors appointments, work, wherever, whenever. My mom still had to go to work. I wish I could tell you things will get better. The emotions that come along during, and afterwards, are nothing anyone can prepare you for.
All you can do is cherish all your time, get lots of rest, and hope for the best.
Are you seeing a counselor of any kind?

I'm keeping you and yours in my prayers.

Karen

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 7:08pm

I know just how you feel. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer a year and half ago. He has been on chemo every since. He has had 3 different kinds of chemo. He tolerated the first one okay except that it made him extremely tired and caused constipation. They switched him to a different kind and he was completely wiped out. He lost his appetite and would not eat. He lost 30 pounds. Then they changed him to another kind of chemo and this one effects the nerves in feet and his feet hurt all the time.

He still works part-time as a school crossing guard but does not have much energy and does nothing in the house. I still work part-time even though I retired. But I have to do everything in the house. The cooking, laundry, dishwasher, clean kitty litter, put out the garbage, paint jobs, you name it and I do it all now. The doctor said that his chemo treatments are indefinite. I go with him every Friday morning for chemo. I go with him for all of his other doctor visits. I don't know what else I can do. But I do understand how you feel. It does make me angry and I do get very depressed on some days. When people say to me, "Why don't you give up your job?" I don't think they understand that my job is the only thing that gets my mind off of the situation. I've been doing this now for a year and a half. It's getting harder and harder. I don't have many friends left. I no longer have a social life. It is very depressing.

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