My brother has stage 4 lung cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
My brother has stage 4 lung cancer
6
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 1:02pm
First let me tell you about my brother My brother has Stage 4 metastectic lung cancer. He has several tumers in his brain and it has spread to his hip and his adrenal glands exc...
He is not married and does not have any children. I am taking care of him now and he recieving in-home hospice care.
The docters told him that his cancer was at a stage where all that they could really do is offer him radiation and chemo to relieve the pain.
He went for 1 Chemo treatment and said the he didn't want to do that anymore. He also recieved Radiation treatments 10 treatments on his brain and 10 treatments on his hip. This was all paliative. The treatments helped his hip pain but made him really sick. He is getting weaker and weaker. At his final radiation treatment his docter asked him to reconsider the Chemo and told him to think about it. If the chemo is not going to save his life ( this is what all the docters have told him and keep telling him ) I dont understand why they are pushing the chemo that makes him feel so sick when they say it will not save his life. He just wants to be home and enjoy what time he has left. I know that they are supposed to do what they can but If the treatments make him weak and sick why do them.
Please pray for us to make the right choices. I just want to support him and be there for him. I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been through this similar situation.
Thanks again, Sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 5:31am

Hi Sharon and welcome to the board.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 4:22pm

Hi Sharon


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It is so difficult to watch the ones we love go through their battle with cancer.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Thu, 01-18-2007 - 5:28pm

Dear Sharon

We are under the same dilema. As I posted before for advice and what to expect. My husband has stage 4 lung cancer and the Dr. said the average survival after it has reached the brain is 4 mo. He is now in his third week of radiation and chemo and we asked the same question if he only had 4 mo then why make him sicker and feel worse because he was not really feeling sick before we found this out. But you do what you must do and reading other postings others have survived longer and done well and given more time. This is all new to me and our family because we have never been around any one else close that had cancer. So we wondered the same thing and decided he had to at least try. They said it was treatable but not curable and you just keep trying and wondering if you have made the right decision meanwhile trying to deal with everything else in normal life and how long you really have. We are so up and down and I wonder what to expect also because he just doesn't feel good now and is tired and uncomfortable all the time with constant aches and pains and headaches. For our kids sake he is still wanting to be around to see them live their lives even though our kids are grown, but we want him around to be with grandkids and such and it is just a tough situation. Everything I have looked up it sounds very painful and the prognosis is not good, but we try to laugh at it and keep some kind of humor. You just do what you have to do. I just really don't know what to expect in such delimas trying to keep working to support us and keep everything as normal as it can be while others around don't really understand. I am looking for a local support group and hope that will help with the decisions we have to make. They keep telling us the quality of life and you really wonder what kind of quality you are living when he feels so bad and doesn't feel like living and doing much of anything but then read that others have went thru treatment who were given 6 mo and went for years and been saved and living a life now. He is not ready to give up and trying to keep a positive attitude that there is more for his life to accomplish. Good Luck and I am praying for you to accomplish the goals you and your brother want out of this life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 2:29am

((((((((((((littlebit_410)))))))))))))))))


I hope you are okay.

Hope everyone has a great Summer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 12:06pm
I am sending you (((hugs))) and as much strength as I can muster.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 1:56pm

Thank you for all your advice. It helps to talk to someone that is going through the same thing that you are. I'm sorry to hear about your husband. I'll keep you in my prayers. I know miracles do happen. I have a son that the docter said would only live a week or so when he was born but he is now 24 yrs old. He has had so many problems but he just keeps on making it through each one every time. I just put everything in Gods hand and trust in him no matter what happens.
My brother is so sick now. The cancer has spread all through his body. He is having problems with his blood presure and swelling. His feet are turning dark purple from poor circulation. He is getting to where he cannot see very well. He is so thin. Even though he eats well now, he does not gain weight. His stomach stays swollen like a balloon, but his arms and legs are so very small. He lost down to 114 lbs. He has purple spots all over his arms and legs. He gets adgitated very easily. Every time anyone comes to see him or any time anyone says anything about Chemo or going to any docters appointments he gets scared and says that he really don't want to have any more treatments. He gets very nervous.
I beleave part of the reason is that when he was the child in school that all the other children picked on him, When he got older he had a very hard time getting a job because he was kind of easly made fun of. He tried to join the Navy and didn't make it through bootcamp. They told him that the Navy just wasn't the right place for him. All his life he has been the kind of person who keep to himself. He was living in a small camper trailer behind this ladys house when he got sick. After him not eating for a week and not getting out of bed ,She called my mother and told her that something was wrong . We went to check on him and found him about half dead. He had turned off the power to the trailer. The trailer smelled so bad that it was hard to even breath. He didn't know anyone. When I finally got him up he had been laying in his own waste and there was old rotten food and ants were in his bed. We (My sister and myself) got him to the hospilal and that is when they found he has stage 4 metastetic lung cancer. The docters told me that his cancer had started in his lungs and had spread to his brain. The cancer in his brain was several tumers one of wich was in the front right lobe. The docter told us this was the part of the brain that controlled behavior and that is why he was acting the way he was. His brain was swelling so they operated and had to remove that part of his brain. When it was time for him to be released , I couldn't let him go back to where he was living so I had him come to live with me and my family so I could take care of him. He dose not have a wife or any children. I cry every time I think about the way we found him. ( Sometimes Its really hard to know the right thing to do.) Later after we got him home they did more test and found it had spread to his bones and on top of his kidneys his hips his back exc... all over. He tryed the Chemo. 1 time and he said he didn't want to do that again. He said that he is right with God and that he is ready to go. He does not have a wife or any children. If he did I think that would make a big difference.
Its hard to explane our circumstances in one letter. Our story is long. I could go on and on. My own life has not been easy. We have alot of bills and now I can not go to work and my husband has not had any work with his job for the past month. We could loose our house exc...In the first part of this message I told you about my son. He was born without any kidneys and had to have a kidney transplant when he was a baby. He has had so many operations and other health issues. Today is the anniversary of his transplant.(23 yrs.) I thank God every day for him. He has been a big help to me through this. He watches my brother for me when I need to get away for a while. My brother really likes spending time with him. He is such a good person.
Its funny, I have 2 sisters and 2 other brothers and both our parents are still alive and everyone says thing like I work so I can't take care of him. My nerves are too bad my house is too small exc... I have the least and it didn't even cross my mind not to take care of him. They are missing out on so much and they don't even know it. He is so sweet and I've gotten so attacthed to him.
I'm sorry I just ramble on and on. It helps to have someone to talk so Thanks for listening.
I've got to go for now.
Thanks for any advice.

Sharon.