New Need Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
New Need Support
2
Fri, 01-19-2007 - 11:52pm
Hi all
New here, my 36 year old husband was just diagosed with a squamous cell tumor on his cheek bone. They graded it stage 4 due to the fact that it infiltrated under his eye. We are gearing up for surgery next week which involves an aggressive tumor removal that includes his cheek and bone, eye and all its contents, as well as soft palate and all his upper teeth on that side. I think I'm a bit freaked out- trying to remain calm since the long term prognosis is ultimately good. My husband is mostly sleeping and internalizing. I am trying not to coddle or pressure him to talk about the whole thing. We have 4 children ages 16, 14, 11, 7 and I am 3 mos pregnant. The kids are all doing okay and I am trying to project positive juju at home.
I am wondering how I should deal with my husband's unwillingness to open up about the diagnosis and long term facial reconstruction issues without prodding. Should I just let him be and he'll come around? He's not very talkative when it comes to emotional things anyway. I just worry he will hold it all in and that won't be good.
Thanks for listening.
Tammy
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
In reply to: tamom07
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 11:05am
I'm so sorry Tammy. I know this must be devastating for you and your husband. I'm so glad to hear that the prognosis is good. It will be hard but just know that there is light at the end of your tunnel. Its very hard sometimes when someone finds out something like this for them to talk about how they feel at first. I think you are doing the right thing. Just be there for him and let him know when he is ready to talk about it your there for him. Remember its very important to take care of yourself also. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Sharon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
In reply to: tamom07
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 1:19pm

Hi Tammy and welcome to the board, also for some reason your post was not showing up on my screen so forgive me for such a late response.


Your husband has quite a lot to digest, not only the word cancer but the extreme surgery ahead and reconstruction involved.

Judy

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